Test your NFL knowledge with the Wonder why
It’s gut-check time for National Football League general managers now. That’s because the draft is all but upon us. This is a good thing because conversations about draft selections should be confined to the corner pub.
Ted Thompson has probably broken down more film at this point in time than any member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
Many scouts are watching DVR’d replays of the combine. There’s nothing like watching the bench press over and over and over again.
And then there’s the threecone drill. A casual observer would think that this takes place at Dairy Queen.
In addition, NFL personnel czars are pouring over Wonderlic scores the same way your parents scrutinized your report cards.
Eldon F. Wonderlic had the vision and courage to develop this test used to aide employee selection, which should have punched his ticket to the Pro Football Hall of Fame years ago. Fame is very fickle.
One sample question of Eldon’s test is: If a piece of rope cost 20 cents per two feet, how many feet can you buy for 30 dollars?
OK, who needs that much rope? Do they think these guys go out and lasso cows in their spare time?
As a public service to the No Fun League, a new test will be provided right here and now.
This test is known as the Wonderwhy.
The Wonderwhy features questions that probably would have created deep thinking for philosophers like Aristotle, Plato, Socrates and Bob Dylan.
So here are some of the questions in the Wonderwhy. If you get them all right, be sure to brag about it at your favorite watering hole.
1. What is the legal air pressure in an NFL football?
A. Who cares? B. This question has sucked the air out of me
C. The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind.
D. Whatever Tom Brady wants it to be.
2. The award for the best player went to...?
A. What are you asking me for? B. Tim Tebow C. La La Land D. Adele always wins all the awards
3. Who has world outdoor record for the fastest time in the sprint to the men’s room at halftime?
A. I’ll have to Google it B. Usain Bolt C. Michael Phelps D. Some Packer fan
4. How many Bears fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. They call an electri- cian
B. Don’t know, but that might make for a great reality show C. I plead the fifth D. There are still Bears fans?
5. How many miles are there in the Indianapolis 500?
A. Do you need to know in Base 3?
B. I’ll text Andrew Luck and tell you later C. It depends on the weather D. Don’t know, I wasn’t a math major
6. What was the reason the Packers didn’t get to the Super Bowl?
A. Don’t know, I wasn’t a history major B. No secondary C. No pass rush D. Olivia Munn 7. What is a Rhombus?
A. Don’t know, I never studied ancient Rome B. Mass transit C. One of the Seven Blocks of Granite D. Something you can get at the Burger King drive-through
8. Do you like green eggs and ham?
A. I’ll ask my girlfriend B. Only if it helps me become a Gruden Grinder
C. No, I could never listen to Chris Berman on a full stomach
D. I only eat green and gold eggs and ham
9. Who is the president?
A. Don’t know, I wasn’t a political science major B. George Washington C. Roger Goodell D. Alec Baldwin
10. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. I’m not into woodworking B. Ed Hochuli’s crew is reviewing it
C. Aaron Rodgers can chuck a football better than a woodchuck
D. If it is a lot, blame Dom Capers
Former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick won’t protest the national anthem next season, but he has yet to be signed by another NFL team.