These Packers committed some royal blunders
The Royal Wedding is behind the good folks of London now.
You can bet that all the pomp and circumstance that went along with it will be on display again when the Titans play the Chargers at Wembley Stadium.
Actually, the Royal Wedding shattered the Super Bowl’s record for the longest pregame show. Speaking of the pregame show, one couldn’t help but notice that nobody was tailgating in front of Buckingham Palace.
Some people at your corner pub were baffled by this event. Upon hearing about the function, there was probably some confused local yokel who snorted, “I thought Brady was already married to that supermodel!”
It appeared that the NFL was not represented at the Big Gig. Not even funnyman Roger Goodell.
So there may have been a handful of snubbed players taking two-slice toasters back to Goodwill over the weekend.
And who would have thought that legendary partier Rob Gronkowski wouldn’t have flown over to London anyway and tied cans of Old Milwaukee to Prince Harry’s bumper.
Inquiring minds wanted to know if Meghan Markle would be the greatest dutchess ever.
So an opinion was sought from someone in the know.
“She controls her own destiny,” said an unnamed NFC North scout.
What about Prince Harry? Will he be the greatest prince ever?
“He’s just a guy,” said an unnamed AFC West scout.
When you get down to it, London and Green Bay have a lot in common.
In London, all they have to look forward to is the royal happenings and the fog.
In Green Bay, they look forward to the Packers and snow.
The Packers season, by the way, has officially started with the first OTAs. These get-togethers are very important. It’s where Clay Matthews teaches the new guys how to pour water on their hair and then fling their locks.
There are some connections between the Packers and royalty that may have been overlooked.
One example is conerback Kevin King. With a last name like that, he could probably get free truffles in London.
And, at some point in her life, Queen Latifah may have worn a cheesehead or happened to glance at a television that had a Packers game on.
Meanwhile, the Packers have had more than their share of court jesters. Let’s take a trip down memory lane.
Tony Mandarich: The clown prince was drafted ahead of Barry Sanders, Derrick Thomas, Deion Sanders and Eric Metcalf. Some of those guys could play a little football. Mandarich could not. And his holdout went on and on and on. Boy, was it funny when he finally signed and tried to block people. You could hear the guffaws in London. Brent Fullwood: This jokester sat out the second half of a 27-13 loss to Chicago on Oct. 7, 1990, after carrying the ball twice for minus three yards. Fullwood said he was too ill to continue playing. Ah, the old tummy ache. Packers coach Lindy Infante said Fullwood went to a Green Bay nightclub Sunday night. “It’s hard to keep secrets in Green Bay,” said the coach. Infante we trust. The next day Fullwood was traded to
Cleveland. That’s kind of like going to Siberia.
Terrell Buckley: A barrel of laughs. Best known for not covering anyone while he was gainfully employed by the Packers. In particular, he wasn’t in the same area code as the great Eric Guliford — a rookie free agent receiver in for his first play of the year — with the Packers clinging to a 13-12 lead in the waning seconds at Minnesota on Sept. 26, 1993. On third-and-10 from the 50, Jim McMahon completed a 45-yard pass to Guliford with six seconds left to set up the winning field goal. OK, what happened? According to McMahon: “Terrell Buckley said on the play before that, ‘McMahon can’t throw it that far.’ ”
Mike Sherman: He traded up in the draft to grab abysmal punter B.J. Sander in the third round in 2004. “I don’t look at it as overly risky,” Sherman said after the draft. “I look at it as risky if I didn’t take him.” Sander couldn’t punt and quickly got punted. It is good to know that Sherman could find work at a comedy club if this football thing doesn’t work out.
T.J. Rubley: He became the laughingstock of the NFL in his only game as a Packer. He called an audible against Minnesota on Nov. 5, 1990, in the Metrodome. The game was tied, 24-24, and the Packers were on the Minnesota 38. On third and about a foot, with a minute to go, the funnyman decided to not go with the quarter- back sneak and throw a pass. The pass was intercepted and Minnesota went on to win. “It probably ended up costing us,” Rubley said. Ya think? At least Rubley, who was cut a few days later, never went on to become a surgeon.
Ed Donatell: The comic stylings of this defensive coordinator resulted in a fourthand-26 being converted. Wacky, zany and madcap.
There you have it. A King, Queen and plenty of court jesters.
There will be similar excitement in the air when Green Bay opens at home on Sunday night Sept. 9 against the Bears.
And, to top it all off, Bears fans are a royal pain.
Eli Manning of the New York Giants: “Philly, you just gotta get used to… because you’re not used to seeing a 9-year-old cursing at you and talking about my mom and stuff. Once you get used to it, it’s fine. It just takes a year or two. Now (15 years later) he’s 24 and training his 4-year-old to curse at me.”...
Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, after 49ers GM John Lynch said he was “essentially scouting” while attending a Warriors game: “Lynch could (and probably will) do a lot worse than Draymond Green at free safety.”...
Norman Chad, syndicated columnist: “At the Met Gala, Tom Brady was wearing a black turtleneck underneath a Versace tuxedo featuring elaborate gold embroidery on the lapel. If he had worn this ensemble in middle school, his classmates would have voted to hold him back a year.”... Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: “If disrespect and doubt were wings, Ryan Tannehill would be ready to take off and soar. He would be poised to fly higher than we have ever seen him, with the Miami Dolphins on his back and along for the joy ride.”... Alex Kaseberg, comedy writer: “ExRaider, Aldon Smith, recently blew a .41 blood-alcohol, five times the legal limit. Commitment to Excessiveness. Just Gin, Baby.”
Great Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ride in an open carriage after their wedding ceremony at St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle.