Kraken jacked

Pasatiempo - - Moving Images - Robert Ben­ziker For The New Mex­i­can

Clash of the Ti­tans, ad­ven­ture, rated PG-13, Re­gal Sta­dium 14, onion

IThe 1981 Clash of the Ti­tans holds a place in the hearts of many who were kids dur­ing that era, in­clud­ing yours truly. For a child ob­sessed with Greek mythol­ogy and cheesy movies, it was re­quired view­ing. To­day, it is most fa­mous for spe­cial-ef­fects leg­end Ray Har­ry­hausen’s stop-mo­tion won­ders, but we shouldn’t pre­tend Clash was a ter­ri­bly good film. We re­ally didn’t need a re­make of it, but this year we’re get­ting re­makes, adap­ta­tions, and se­quels for The Karate Kid, The A-Team, Wall Street, and Tron, so it’s, like, to­tally the ’ 80s all over again.

The clash be­gins when the peo­ple of an­cient Ar­gos de­clare war on the gods. Zeus and Hades (played by Liam Nee­son and Ralph Fi­ennes, re­spec­tively — a Schindler’s List re­union!) are miffed at this in­so­lence. So they de­mand that the peo­ple sac­ri­fice the king’s daugh­ter, An­dromeda (Alexa Dava­los), or else in­cur the wrath of the mighty Kraken, a mon­ster that will wipe out their whole civ­i­liza­tion. In case you’re won­der­ing, there’s no sign of the ac­tual Ti­tans of Greek mythol­ogy, nor is there all that much of a clash here. Just go with it.

In the mid­dle of all this hooey is Perseus, played by Sam Wor­thing­ton. Perseus is a demigod, born to Zeus and a hu­man mother and raised by a sim­ple fish­er­man. He wants no part of this war un­til his step­fa­ther dies, and he is forced to ei­ther show fealty to his true fa­ther or find a way to stop the Kraken him­self. Wor­thing­ton has landed plum roles in the last year, be­tween the lat­est Ter­mi­na­tor movie, Avatar, and now this — de­spite show­ing no tal­ent or charisma and hav­ing un­re­mark­able looks by Hol­ly­wood stan­dards. Wor­thing­ton’s agent: now there is a real ti­tan!

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