Can PC Gamer grief a map full of GTAOn­line play­ers?


We did it! We fin­ished all of GTA On­line’s heists. Now we’re at a loose end, though. We have money, we have mil­i­tary he­li­copters, but we have noth­ing to do with them. That’s when Sa­muel sug­gests that, for one night only, we put our toys to use. Tonight, friends, we grief.


Phil: We gather near my new bunker, which has lit­tle prac­ti­cal pur­pose, but is at least near the air­field. Tom and Sa­muel both own he­li­copters, bought with their heist­ing riches, but I have made some bad in­vest­ments, and must steal one from the map. Specif­i­cally, I want to steal a Car­gobob. It’s a trans­port he­li­copter, and comes armed not with guns, but a winch. I can think of no bet­ter tool with which to troll play­ers.

Tom: The air­field is pop­u­lar with other play­ers due to the free he­li­copters and nearby biker bar. In fact, there’s a cou­ple lurk­ing around here right now.

Sa­muel: I fly over in my buz­zard, see some guy in a ve­hi­cle by the run­way and think, why not fire some rock­ets at this per­son? I do, and I feel good. Pre­dictably, as soon as they’re alive again, they bring me down with a rocket launcher. Then we’re both on the run­way, hit­ting each other with sniper fire.

Phil: I had hoped to be in the air be­fore the fight­ing be­gan, but things seem to be es­ca­lat­ing pretty quickly. To make things worse, the air­field hasn’t got a Car­gobob. That means I’ve got to go to the air­port at the bot­tom of the map. I jump in a plane, and am im­me­di­ately blown up by Sam’s tar­get. Right, it’s on.

Tom: When­ever some­one kills you in GTA On­line, you al­ways res­pawn a few hun­dred meters away, with no weapon equipped, and fac­ing the wrong way. This makes it ex­tremely easy for the per­son who just killed you to im­me­di­ately kill you again. So as Sam cuts his tar­get down, I spot his res­pawn po­si­tion and line up a sniper shot, tak­ing his life a sec­ond time while he’s still try­ing to process the first. No mercy.

Phil: The tar­get bolts, and man­ages to slip away from Sam and Tom’s fire. Un­for­tu­nately for him, he’s run­ning straight to­wards my crosshair. Un­for­tu­nately for me, I’m gunned down by a mini­gun. I think our new friend has re­in­force­ments, and they’re well armed.

Tom: I’ve never even seen a mini­gun in GTA On­line be­fore. I guess this is what we could’ve spent our ill-got­ten gains on rather than pro­gres­sively larger garages.

Phil: Luck­ily, the mini­gun isn’t very good. It’s in­cred­i­bly deadly, but only if its wielder gets into range and is given enough time to spin it up. As long as I snipe him on ap­proach, he doesn’t stand a chance. Un­for­tu­nately, I’m not a very good sniper. At this point I’m not grief­ing any­body. I’m just hav­ing a reg­u­lar death­match.

Tom: There doesn’t seem to be any way to ac­tu­ally win one of th­ese im­promptu du­els. Even­tu­ally, one of you just gets bored and runs away. I guess that’s kinda like grief­ing, right?

Sa­muel: We get bored, and fly away in a he­li­copter at a low al­ti­tude so we’re not shot down.


Phil: The prob­lem, I think, is that we’re pick­ing on peo­ple who can fight back. That’s not what bul­lies do. We need some­one who has no re­sponse to our ad­vanced weaponry and de­sire to an­noy. We need a low-level player. I browse the server list and find a fresh-faced level 11 char­ac­ter. Per­fect. Let’s de­stroy him.

Tom: As we’re pick­ing our tar­get, I re­mem­ber that I have a bunch of cool abil­i­ties I haven’t been us­ing. Specif­i­cally, I can ring La­mar and get him to send a mug­ger af­ter an­other player, which I do. Then I call GTA’s not-Black­wa­ter pri­vate mil­i­tary com­pany and get it to send some mer­ce­nar­ies to kill him. I haven’t even met this guy, and I’ve al­ready screwed him over twice.

Phil: I opt for the per­sonal touch, us­ing the map to track him down. When I ar­rive, he’s run­ning down a street, away from the po­lice. Pre­sum­ably he drew their at­ten­tion while try­ing to de­fend him­self from Tom’s AI en­forcers. I nab a car and charge at him. He goes splat into the

RIGHT: The Car­gobob is Phil’s lat­est ob­ses­sion, de­spite the fact it’s not ac­tu­ally use­ful.

RIGHT: One of many failed at­tempts to air­lift a car, made harder by all the rocket launch­ers.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.