“I await my death at the hands of overzealous robot bastards”
Why trying to be nice doesn’t pay in No Man’s Sky
Aggression just isn’t in my nature. I’m the kind of person who will apologize to a lamppost if I bump into it, which is why I’ve been enjoying getting back into No Man’s Sky’s space exploration, gently pottering from one planet to another while giving any animal I find an amusing name. I like to avoid conflict, but sometimes, conflict ends up finding me. While out exploring a rotten planet I pull into an outpost with a Vy’keen inspecting a clipboard inside. Thinking I might get some useful language advice or directions, I speak to him—he’s really worried about something and in need of aid. Thinking it would be a simple bounty or search and rescue mission, I agree. “Steal the plans from a nearby depot.” Oh. I’m not keen on being a thief, but the poor lad seemed so distressed I figure I can at least have a look.
Half a minute later I’m landing just outside where I’ve been directed and clamber out of my craft. Instant regret. A handful of drones and a robot dog materialize from thin air and start attacking me. I don’t want to deal with this nonsense, so I jump back into my ship and disappear, deciding to ignore this mission from now on. The only problem is that the mission refuses to ignore me.
I reach a drop pod and set down to have a quick look at what I need to secure an exosuit upgrade when all hell breaks loose. A walker appears from nowhere and starts lasering me, the earth juddering with every one of its giant steps. I try to make a break for it, but I’m surrounded by drones. I sprint back to my ship and try to escape, but my thrusters are empty. This is not where I ever thought I’d end up. I didn’t even know it was possible to get a five-star wanted rating in a game about finding animals and giving them silly names.
Finally I cobble together what I need to launch and blast off away from this furious, fungal cesspit of a planet. I let out a relieved sigh—the torment is over. Except it isn’t. Did you know that Sentinels also have their own space ships and they’re a million times tougher than any of the bounties you typically face? I take out the first, lone Sentinel with some difficulty, but three more appear. At this point I’ve had enough and throw in the space towel. I await my eventual death at the hands of these overzealous robot bastards.
I try to get out…
I respawn back in a space station hanger without my cargo and take a deep breath and shut down the game. Maybe I’m not cut out for this, I just wanted to be helpful. But, of course, I don’t stop. I can’t resist the pull of things maybe being better over the next horizon. Even when No Man’s Sky throws its worst at me I still can’t stop loving that promise of exciting new discoveries just around the bend. Though next time I’m playing in creative mode.
I can’t resist the pull of things maybe being better over the next horizon
THIS MONTH Learned never to do any favors for aliens. ALSO PLAYED StardewValley, Overcooked2
The moment I vowed never to help another Vy’keen.