I was gen­uinely ex­cited when the Hori­zon Fes­ti­val's new ra­dio sta­tions started broad­cast­ing. Fi­nally. I thought. some­thing to lis­ten to other than Ra­dio Cum­bria's bi-weekly dis­cus­sion about fish­ing by­laws. At last. I can hear the kind of mu­sic I like—mu­sic that a mid-to-late 30-year-old ex­ec­u­tive thinks, based on their ex­ten­sive polling data, some­one in their early-to-mid 20s would prob­a­bly en­joy. But isn't it about time the DJs up­dated their playlists? I love that song by Chvrches as much as the next per­son. but they've been play­ing it ev­ery half-hour for what must now be over two years Lake Dis­trict – Chicago But­tress,

So­cially chal­lenged

Every­body makes mis­takes. but I think it's time the coun­cil ad­mit­ted that rewiring all of the speed cam­eras in the area to grant in­flu­ence'—what­ever that is—was not a good idea. Yes­ter­day af­ter­noon. as I made my way to see Dave Ben­son Phillips three towns over, I re­ceived a call from an ex­citable young man who rep­ri­manded me for stick­ing to the speed lim­its as laid out in the High­way Code. I should, he sug­gested. "Do it for the vine." I as­sured him I had no in­ten­tion of break­ing the law for any form of scan­dent stem. and he in­formed me that if I drove 130km per hour faster. I would beawarded a pair of bur­gundy pants. I went on to lec­ture this shrill ir­ri­tant about the su­pe­rior ro­bust­ness of cor­duroy. but, af­ter I had fin­ished mak­ing my points. I re­al­ized he had hung up 37 min­utes ago. Is this re­ally the best we can ex­pect of the youth of to­day? Shap – Mar­folk Der­ringer,

Kids aren’t al­right

Is it just me. or is there some­thing wrong with this gen­er­a­tion of young peo­ple? Back in my day. we'd sit in the past down­ing hooch un­til we were sick. Now, the kids are neatly lined up be­hind the safety bar­ri­ers of race­tracks. It's po­lit­i­cal cor­rect­ness gone mad. – Jerry Flug, Der­went

Hav­ing a barn-y

In re­gards to the news story last week of a lucky Hori­zon Fes­ti­val­goer dis­cov­er­ing a rare Mini Cooper S in a barn in the Cheshire re­gion, I would like to is­sue my con­grat­u­la­tions. I do, how­ever, have one ob­jec­tion: THAT WAS MY BARN. Gen­er­ally, things like barns are the prop­erty of peo­ple who build them on the land they own. Said barns of­ten con­tain things, which are also the prop­erty of the per­son who owns the barn. The re­moval of the prop­erty in the barn is, there­fore, theft. It is a sad re­flec­tion of this coun­try's ed­u­ca­tion sys­tem that any of this needs to be ex­plained. I'd like to make an ap­peal to the hood­lum: Can I have my Mini Cooper back, please? Cheshire – Ver­ily Peesmot­tle,


I've tried my best to be ac­com­mo­dat­ing to the Hori­zon Fes­ti­val. I didn't get too of­fended when fes­ti­val­go­ers spent hours run­ning across my fields, at­tempt­ing to run over my ge­net­i­cally en­gi­neered, ul­tra­fast sheep. I even bit my tongue when the en­tirety of Ed­in­burgh was ruled dan­ger­ous to pedes­tri­ans forc­ing the en­tire city into a per­ma­nent cur­few that left me un­able to ac­cess ba­sic ser­vices. But hear­ing that peo­ple are just be­ing handed free houses for be­ing slightly good at driv­ing a car? That's the last straw. I have posted a strongly worded let­ter to my om­buds­man, and as soon as the postal ser­vice deems it safe to re­sume op­er­a­tions, this fes­ti­val's days are num­bered. – Marge Flot­sam, Scot­land

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.