Another Beautiful Day in Paradise
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Hello, skiers! Sunshine, here, live with your daily dish of awesome. I mean your snow report, HA! LOL, it’s 5 a.m. and I’m wide-awake to get the scoop on another radical day of skiing at the one and the only Mount Amaaaazing—the only place where your good time is guaranteed AWESOME and better than anywhere else ever.
I’m sitting here at Ski Patrol HQ, looking over the shoulder of our local weather expert, Joe.
And folks, I have the news you have been waiting for! The weather map is showing a lot of radar, a lot of lines, and a lot of neon colors.
Let’s be honest—i have no idea what any of it means—except, for one thing: the color is green. Everybody knows that green means GO. And guess what? I see green coming to an awesome mountain near you.
Skiing today will be like dipping your toes into a moist chocolate cake! Temps will be in the midto-high 50s and Joe, that little devil Joe, is telling me there’s a 110 percent chance of moisture, and you know what? I never even liked Joe. You know what he is? He’s #Fakenews. Probably one of those climate change guys! LOL. I think I see the clouds parting now and anyway, you can’t have snowfall without moisture. Nope. The science doesn’t allow it. So get on up here, you bunch of powderhounds!
Today’s fresh sleet is stacking up out there! It’s already softened out those bumps and turned them into a creamy slab of perfection. Mmmm-mmm, I’ll take a bite right out of that! You ever tasted a marshmallow dipped in liquid gold? It’s like that. But better. And guess what, you can have it all to yourself out there. I don’t see anyone! Fresh tracks down Death Star and Annihilator are still up for grabs!
I see ski patrol over there in the corner getting ready for a busy day. Many thanks to our hardworking ski patrollers who work on their feet all day for minimum wage and—oh dear!—a lightning bolt just struck poor Bob Hamilton. You know why? Because it’s electric out here, folks. Come on and catch the energy.
Worried about a little pitter-patter? You’ll stay dry till last chair with one of our official Mount Amaaaazing-branded plastic rain ponchos, available for passholders for just $45 plus tax.
It should be noted that we are currently on windhold for all of our non-surface lifts. Sure, there’s a slight breeze out here, just a few knots past a double baker’s dozen, but the Minnie’s Magic Carpet, Baby Bunny Poma, and Tiny’s T-bar are all spinning around the clock and, personally, I’ve always felt they hold our most world-class terrain anyway.
Oh, wait… this just in, and this is really exciting stuff, folks. Old Hickory is spinning! Well, more of a lurch, but still, that’s where I’ll be today. Built in 1966, this is Mount Amaaaazing’s first and original chairlift. It’s pure history packed into a dieselpowered time machine to the fun-zone! It sways a little here and there, and it’s been known to send children and the elderly into the early stages of hypothermia, but hey, who said skiing wasn’t an adventure?!
I think I just might get out there right now. In fact, I might even go for seconds! Hahaha! Thanks for listening, folks! Be sure to download the Mount Amaaaazing app to track your vert, find your friends, and give us all your personal data that we can turnaround and sell to a third-party. See you out there!
Photo: Reuben Krabbe