Laugh Lines

SCARED SILLY

Reader's Digest - - Contents -

The only way I’d be scared of a ghost is if one was com­ing at me wear­ing a fit­ted sheet that I thought I’d have to fold.

@PLOCKWOOD65

What do you call a group of re­ally tidy witches? A self-clean­ing coven. @RHEABUTCHER

Ev­ery time some­one says “I’m aware,” I al­ways wait a cou­ple sec­onds in case they add “wolf.” @THEMILTRON

Tell the barista your name is Beetle­juice and qui­etly walk out. @SLIMMY_SHADY

“I’m not re­ally a big dog per­son.” —ly­ing were­wolf

@PATBRENCLASSIC

I hate when box­ing an­nounc­ers say a boxer is “down for the count.” I don’t care that he loves Drac­ula. I just want to know who’s win­ning.

@KIMMYMONTE

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