The only way I’d be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I’d have to fold.
What do you call a group of really tidy witches? A self-cleaning coven. @RHEABUTCHER
Every time someone says “I’m aware,” I always wait a couple seconds in case they add “wolf.” @THEMILTRON
Tell the barista your name is Beetlejuice and quietly walk out. @SLIMMY_SHADY
“I’m not really a big dog person.” —lying werewolf
I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is “down for the count.” I don’t care that he loves Dracula. I just want to know who’s winning.