I don’t get headaches, I give them

Record Observer - - Religion -

This past week I got my­self into some rather un­nec­es­sary trou­ble. I say un­nec­es­sary be­cause it was trou­ble that I could have avoided if I only would have thought be­fore I spoke.

This is one of the great­est crosses that I bear in my mar­ried life. I al­ways speak be­fore I think be­cause I do not have that much time to speak. If you know what I mean.

The Gra­cious Mis­tress of the Par­son­age was com­plain­ing that she had a headache and did not know how to get rid of it. At first I thought she was re­fer­ring to the other per­son who lived in the par­son­age with her, but I soon dis­cov­ered she had a headache and it seemed to be very painful.

As a hus­band, one of my du­ties is to try to make my “help­meet” as com­fort­able as pos­si­ble. Although I have been mar­ried a life­time, I still have not ac­quired much ex­per­tise on wife­ol­ogy.

She was com­plain­ing about this headache and so I thought I would step in or step up, which­ever the case, and tell her, “Don’t worry about your headache. It’s all in your head.” At the time I did not know what I was say­ing.

When I did say it, she glared at me with one of “those” glares. Ev­ery hus­band knows ex­actly what I am talk­ing about.

The thing that hurt the most was she did not say any­thing, she just glared.

This just shows the com­pat­i­bil­ity of our house­hold. Ev­ery house­hold, ev­ery re­la­tion­ship needs glue to hold it to­gether. This is our glue. She gets headaches and I give them.

I am not sure I have had more than a half a dozen headaches in my en­tire life. But I can as­sure you, I have given plenty a headache to a va­ri­ety of peo­ple. That’s my spe­cialty. Some doc­tors have a rem­edy for headaches and oth­ers, like me, know how to give them right smartly.

I sup­pose the rea­son I do not get very many headaches is be­cause there is noth­ing up there to ache. If I would clut­ter my head with all sorts of things I would run the dan­ger and pos­si­bil­ity of ac­quir­ing a headache.

One of my spe­cial­ties is that I can think for a long pe­riod of time about noth­ing. I can stare into space and not be think­ing about any­thing what­so­ever.

Usu­ally, at one of th­ese empty star­ing times the wife will ask, “What are you think­ing about?”

Per­haps that is what a headache re­ally is. Be­ing asked some­thing you have no idea how to an­swer. How do you tell some­one that you are not think­ing about any­thing when it looks like you are think­ing about some­thing? And, what is the dif­fer­ence be­tween “any­thing” and “some­thing?”

Oh boy. I think I’m get­ting a headache right now.

When my wife gets a headache she takes med­i­ca­tion, lays down on the couch, puts a heat­ing pad around her neck and be­fore she closes her eyes she looks at me as though dar­ing me to make a noise.

Do not let this out, but some­times her headache gives me a headache.

Re­ally, the only thing that gives me a headache are things in­con­ve­nienc­ing me at the time.

Like two weeks ago I had to take a two hour trip on I-75. Now, the speed limit is 70 mph. Nor­mally I can han­dle that, I just said my speed con­trol thinga­ma­jig and go cruis­ing (or is it trump­ing?) down the high­way.

The headache came when there was an ac­ci­dent which brought the traf­fic to an amaz­ing 2 mph. I do not mind stop­ping, but when it is mov­ing 2 mph, it is re­ally a headache.

Then, com­ing north on the same high­way there was an­other ac­ci­dent, but this time we were go­ing 3 mph. Talk about a headache. I know what you are think­ing. You are think­ing that my headache is not nearly as bad as my wife’s headache. All I can say is, how do you know?

One per­son’s headache is very real to them, as real as an­other per­son’s headache is to them.

The prob­lem with my headache on the high­way was, I could not take any med­i­ca­tion, lie down and put a heat­ing pad on my neck and go to sleep. I had to stay awake and watch where in the world I was go­ing even though I was not go­ing very fast.

Gladly would I have traded my headache on the high­way for her headache on the couch.

Of course, there is al­ways the idea that I cause headaches. And I sup­pose there’s not much I can do about that. Ex­cept, maybe, try not to cause a headache. But when you’re per­son like me, you don’t know you’re caus­ing a headache un­til you’ve caused that headache.

What would life be with­out headaches ei­ther get­ting them or giv­ing them? I sup­pose that’s what life is all about. If you think you can live your life with­out get­ting or giv­ing a headache you are in for a truly se­vere mi­graine.

As I thought about this I was re­minded of a very spe­cial verse of Scrip­ture. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, nei­ther sor­row, nor cry­ing, nei­ther shall there be any more pain: for the for­mer things are passed away” ( Rev­e­la­tion 21:4).

In this life you can’t get away from headaches, but I have some­thing to look for­ward to and that is what God has for me.

The Rev. James L. Snyder is pas­tor of the Fam­ily of God Fel­low­ship in Sil­ver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or email james sny­der2@att.net. The church web­site is www.whatafel­low­ship.com.

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