I don’t get headaches, I give them
This past week I got myself into some rather unnecessary trouble. I say unnecessary because it was trouble that I could have avoided if I only would have thought before I spoke.
This is one of the greatest crosses that I bear in my married life. I always speak before I think because I do not have that much time to speak. If you know what I mean.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was complaining that she had a headache and did not know how to get rid of it. At first I thought she was referring to the other person who lived in the parsonage with her, but I soon discovered she had a headache and it seemed to be very painful.
As a husband, one of my duties is to try to make my “helpmeet” as comfortable as possible. Although I have been married a lifetime, I still have not acquired much expertise on wifeology.
She was complaining about this headache and so I thought I would step in or step up, whichever the case, and tell her, “Don’t worry about your headache. It’s all in your head.” At the time I did not know what I was saying.
When I did say it, she glared at me with one of “those” glares. Every husband knows exactly what I am talking about.
The thing that hurt the most was she did not say anything, she just glared.
This just shows the compatibility of our household. Every household, every relationship needs glue to hold it together. This is our glue. She gets headaches and I give them.
I am not sure I have had more than a half a dozen headaches in my entire life. But I can assure you, I have given plenty a headache to a variety of people. That’s my specialty. Some doctors have a remedy for headaches and others, like me, know how to give them right smartly.
I suppose the reason I do not get very many headaches is because there is nothing up there to ache. If I would clutter my head with all sorts of things I would run the danger and possibility of acquiring a headache.
One of my specialties is that I can think for a long period of time about nothing. I can stare into space and not be thinking about anything whatsoever.
Usually, at one of these empty staring times the wife will ask, “What are you thinking about?”
Perhaps that is what a headache really is. Being asked something you have no idea how to answer. How do you tell someone that you are not thinking about anything when it looks like you are thinking about something? And, what is the difference between “anything” and “something?”
Oh boy. I think I’m getting a headache right now.
When my wife gets a headache she takes medication, lays down on the couch, puts a heating pad around her neck and before she closes her eyes she looks at me as though daring me to make a noise.
Do not let this out, but sometimes her headache gives me a headache.
Really, the only thing that gives me a headache are things inconveniencing me at the time.
Like two weeks ago I had to take a two hour trip on I-75. Now, the speed limit is 70 mph. Normally I can handle that, I just said my speed control thingamajig and go cruising (or is it trumping?) down the highway.
The headache came when there was an accident which brought the traffic to an amazing 2 mph. I do not mind stopping, but when it is moving 2 mph, it is really a headache.
Then, coming north on the same highway there was another accident, but this time we were going 3 mph. Talk about a headache. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that my headache is not nearly as bad as my wife’s headache. All I can say is, how do you know?
One person’s headache is very real to them, as real as another person’s headache is to them.
The problem with my headache on the highway was, I could not take any medication, lie down and put a heating pad on my neck and go to sleep. I had to stay awake and watch where in the world I was going even though I was not going very fast.
Gladly would I have traded my headache on the highway for her headache on the couch.
Of course, there is always the idea that I cause headaches. And I suppose there’s not much I can do about that. Except, maybe, try not to cause a headache. But when you’re person like me, you don’t know you’re causing a headache until you’ve caused that headache.
What would life be without headaches either getting them or giving them? I suppose that’s what life is all about. If you think you can live your life without getting or giving a headache you are in for a truly severe migraine.
As I thought about this I was reminded of a very special verse of Scripture. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” ( Revelation 21:4).
In this life you can’t get away from headaches, but I have something to look forward to and that is what God has for me.
The Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or email james firstname.lastname@example.org. The church website is www.whatafellowship.com.