Not smart enough to be a full blown idiot just yet

Record Observer - - Religion -

In my ex­pe­ri­ence, ev­ery­body has a slice of “idiot” some­where hid­ing in­side them. The trick is not to let it show it­self at the wrong time.

Since ev­ery­body is an idiot to some de­gree or other, maybe we should not be so hard on peo­ple. Af­ter all, not ev­ery­body is smart enough to be a full blown idiot.

Through­out my life, I have at­tempted to uti­lize my “idiot slice” to my own ad­van­tage. So far I have had good progress on this as­pect of my life, just ask the Gra­cious Mis­tress of the Par­son­age. With a great deal of af­fec­tion she will of­ten say, “You are one of the best idiots I have ever known.” Isn’t love a won­der­ful thing? Al­though I own up to my “idiot slice” many peo­ple for some rea­son, are not able to do that. Af­ter all, if ev­ery­body has a slice of id­iocy, then what’s the prob­lem?

This came to me re­cently when a small in­ci­dent hap­pened. I do not quite re­mem­ber what brought this in­ci­dent to be, it could be any­thing these days, but the out­come is what got me.

This guy looked at me with the mean­est look, shook his fist at me and said, “Are you an idiot or some­thing?”

Nor­mally I take these things as they come and just move on with my life. But for some rea­son that “idiot slice” in me kicked into high gear. And I re­sponded, “Which one do you think I am?”

He blinked and said, “Whutt?”

So I said, “Do you think I’m an ‘idiot’ or a ‘some­thing’?”

“Af­ter all,” I con­tin­ued, “there is a vast dif­fer­ence be­tween an ‘idiot’ and a ‘some­thing.’ What am I?”

That was last week some time and I think he is still try­ing to fig­ure out what in the world I was talk­ing about. Some peo­ple just aren’t smart enough to be a plain old idiot.

I be­lieve there is a lit­tle bit of in­tel­li­gence in ev­ery idiot. Af­ter all, most idiots are smart enough to get a driver’s li­cense. And boy, do they drive like idiots.

Just yes­ter­day, I was try­ing to drive across town and I en­coun­tered so many idiots driv­ing that I was tempted to run some of them over. Don’t those idiot driv­ers make you fu­ri­ous?

I know a few peo­ple who are sim­ply nuts, but that is a different story al­to­gether. Be­ing an idiot takes a lot of hard work and prac­tice. Not ev­ery­body is smart enough to be an idiot.

One driver I en­coun­tered, who at first glance I thought was an idiot but he turned out not smart enough to be an idiot. I was driv­ing on my side of the road and go­ing the speed limit. He was be­hind me and wanted to go faster than the speed limit. That’s okay if no­body’s in front of you, but I was in front of him and he couldn’t get around me.

He honked his horn, hop­ing, I sup­pose, that I would get out of his way and let him go. How­ever, I was more of an idiot, so I ig­nored him. One good thing about be­ing an idiot is that you can ig­nore peo­ple who do not quite come up to the sta­tus of be­ing an idiot them­selves.

Fi­nally, we got to a place where he could pass me. I just as­sumed he would pass and that would be the last I would see of him. When he got be­side me, he be­gan yelling and scream­ing and I could not un­der­stand any­thing he was say­ing.

I did fig­ure out that he must have been a very re­li­gious man be­cause he was point­ing me to heaven. I guess he was en­cour­ag­ing me to go to heaven. I smiled and shook my head, which only made him a lit­tle an­grier, for some rea­son. I did notice though, that the fin­ger he was us­ing to point to heaven was not the fin­ger I would have used. I guess it’s a mat­ter of con­fu­sion. This guy was not smart enough to be an idiot to know which fin­ger you use to point a per­son to heaven.

One thing I have dis­cov­ered about idiots is they are not con­fined to race, gen­der or age. You can find idiots any­where there are peo­ple still breath­ing. An idiot is an equal op­por­tu­nity en­gager.

Be­ing an idiot does have its ad­van­tages. For ex­am­ple, when my wife sends me to the store to buy some items for the house and I come back with every­thing but what’s on the list I can say, “I just must be an idiot.” And, do not let this get back to her, it al­ways works.

If you know who you are and what you are, you can be­gin us­ing that in­for­ma­tion to your ad­van­tage. If you know you are an idiot then you can bank on that for the rest of your life.

The dif­fer­ence be­tween an idiot and a fool is sim­ply that an idiot is a lit­tle short of knowl­edge. Solomon un­der­stood this when he wrote, “The fear of the Lord is the be­gin­ning of knowl­edge: but fools de­spise wis­dom and in­struc­tion” (Proverbs 1:7).

And, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hear­keneth unto coun­sel is wise” (Proverbs 12:15).

I sup­pose I can’t help be­ing an idiot, but I cer­tainly don’t have to be a fool as Solomon de­scribes it.

Rev. James L. Sny­der is pas­tor of the Fam­ily of God Fel­low­ship, Ocala, Fla., where he lives with the Gra­cious Mis­tress of the Par­son­age. Call him at 1-866-552-2543 or email jamess­ny­ His web­site is www.jamess­ny­der­min­

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