The Veg­etable War in the par­son­age

Record Observer - - Religion -

Lately, a lit­tle bit of ten­sion has de­vel­oped be­tween the Gra­cious Mistress of the Par­son­age and my­self. It has been a long time com­ing and I am afraid it has ar­rived.

After decades of be­ing mar­ried, and I am not quite sure which decades, it has all come down to this one thing. Veg­eta­bles.

At my age, I think I should be over all this non­sense of what my wife calls “eat­ing healthy.” Who says eat­ing veg­eta­bles is healthy?

Well, my wife says it. It must be true or she would not say it. I am not quite sure how to deal with this rather del­i­cate sit­u­a­tion. After all, she is the one that pre­pares meals and I am the one that de­vours the meals.

She be­lieves that be­cause she pre­pares the meals, she should be the one to de­cide what those meals should be made up of.

I, on the other hand, and I am not sure it is the right hand or the left, be­lieve that be­cause I de­vour those meals I should have some­thing to say in what those meals re­ally are.

Up un­til re­cently, I have not made a big is­sue of this, but I think the time has come for me to put my foot down. Veg­eta­bles and I are part­ing ways.

It is not that I do not like any veg­eta­bles. There are a few I en­joy munch­ing on, like corn, lima beans and car­rot cake.

That last one gets me in trou­ble ev­ery time. I in­sist that car­rots are a veg­etable with which my wife can­not ar­gue. It is the cake part that she says dis­qual­i­fies it for be­ing a veg­etable. I say since the word “car­rot” comes be­fore “cake” it de­fines what it re­ally is. A car­rot is a veg­etable.

You can ap­pre­ci­ate, I’m sure, the dilemma I am in.

“At your del­i­cate age,” she says rather sar­cas­ti­cally, “you should be eat­ing healthy.”

My re­but­tal is sim­ply that all my life I have been eat­ing healthy, now I should be en­ter­ing the stage when I can eat what I want to eat and what makes me happy whether it is healthy or not.

Of course, my idea of healthy does not cor­re­late with her idea of healthy. I un­der­stand that, but I also un­der­stand it is my health.

Last month I went to the doc­tor for my an­nual visit. As usual, he found noth­ing wrong with me and in a lit­tle bit of des­per­a­tion he said, “Some­one your age should have some­thing wrong with them.” With all of his doc­tor­ing ex­per­tise, he could not find any­thing wrong with me, which means I must be healthy.

There­fore, I say, some­body my age with noth­ing wrong with them should be able to eat ex­actly what he or she wants to eat.

I re­mem­ber all my life when­ever go­ing out to eat, I al­ways made sure I or­dered a salad to go along with my meal. It was not be­cause I re­ally liked sal­ads, but it was sup­posed to be healthy for you. I hon­estly be­lieve I have eaten enough sal­ads in my life­time to last the rest of my life.

Then the ar­gu­ment comes from the other side of the house. “The rea­son the doc­tor doesn’t find any­thing wrong with you,” she says rather sternly, “is be­cause you’ve been eat­ing healthy veg­eta­bles all your life.”

I sup­pose there is some ku­dos in that ar­gu­ment.

“Don’t you re­mem­ber,” she said, “that Eve used an ap­ple to cause Adam to fall into sin?”

Well, I had to think about that one. There is no con­crete ev­i­dence that it was an ap­ple tree, but I was not in any po­si­tion to chal­lenge her the­ol­ogy at that mo­ment.

Re­cently we have come to some­what of a stale­mate on this. She ac­cepts the fact that I will not eat broc­coli at all or any green leafy stuff on a reg­u­lar ba­sis. I think it is good for me just to go step-by-step in this re­gard.

A re­cent news story re­ported of peo­ple get­ting sick after eat­ing some leafy veg­eta­bles at some restau­rant buf­fet, and I re­mind her of this ev­ery chance I get. “I just,” I try to ex­plain to her, “want to be care­ful about what I eat so I don’t get sick.”

That ar­gu­ment al­ways brings on one of her glar­ing looks in my di­rec­tion. Then she will sigh rather deeply and say in that sweet lit­tle voice of hers, “I want you to be healthy so that you’re around as long as pos­si­ble.”

After she says that, I have lost the ar­gu­ment. Of course, I want to be around as long as pos­si­ble. And so, I promised her that ev­ery month I would eat one help­ing of a healthy veg­etable but a veg­etable of my choos­ing.

She smiles, know­ing that she’s got me. The thing about this “got me” mo­ment is there is noth­ing I can do about it. All ar­gu­ments aside, she got me.

I am sure the Bi­ble has a lot to say about eat­ing healthy. One verse that comes to my mind along this line is, “Whether there­fore ye eat, or drink, or what­so­ever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthi­ans 10:31).

If my body is the tem­ple of God, as the Bi­ble de­clares, I need to treat it with re­spect, and what­ever I do, I need to do it to the glor y of God.

Dr. James L. Sny­der is pas­tor of the Fam­ily of God Fel­low­ship, PO Box 831313, Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife in Sil­ver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543 or email jamess­ny­ His web­site is www.jamess­ny­der­min­

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