Fak­ery is re­al­ity for our next pres­i­dent

Record Observer - - Opinion - By JIM HIGHTOWER

All hail Au­gusts Trum­pus — the Amer­i­can Putin, whom none can crit­i­cize! All hail the All Know­ing One, who re­veals “re­al­i­ties” that aren’t there and finds “facts” that mere mor­tals can’t de­tect.

Once again, the Amaz­ing Don­ald has demon­strated his phan­tas­magoric power of per­cep­tion, hav­ing found a new out­come in Novem­ber’s elec­tion that oth­ers haven’t seen. Trump has been greatly per­turbed by the of­fi­cial re­sults, which showed that while he won the Elec­toral Col­lege ma­jor­ity, he wasn’t the peo­ple’s choice.

In­stead, ac­cord­ing to the lat­est tally, Hil­lary Clin­ton won the pop­u­lar bal­lot­ing by a mar­gin of more than 2.5 mil­lion votes and count­ing.

Grow­ing in­creas­ingly fu­ri­ous at this af­front to his su­per­nat­u­ral sense of self, the mas­ter of fac­tual flex­i­bil­ity went on Twit­ter with an amaz­ing rev­e­la­tion: “I won the pop­u­lar vote,” de­creed our in­com­ing tweeter-in-chief.

How did he turn a 2.5 mil­lion vote loss into a glo­ri­ous vic­tory? “I won,” he tweeted, “if you deduct the mil­lions of peo­ple who voted il­le­gally.” Wow again! Mil­lions? You’d think that such a mas­sive con­spir­acy, with mil­lions of il­le­gal vot­ers in line at thou­sands of precincts, would’ve been no­ticed by elec­tion of­fi­cials, GOP poll watch­ers, and the me­dia. How did Trump find this truly in­cred­i­ble “fact”?

It seems he chan­neled it from the mys­te­ri­ous Twit­ter­sphere — and specif­i­cally from a Texas con­spir­acy hound who had ear­lier posted a tweet declar­ing: “We have ver­i­fied more than 3 mil­lion votes cast by non-cit­i­zens.”

But this guy turns out to be part of a right-wing fringe group chas­ing non-ex­is­tent voter frauds. Ex­actly none of those 3 mil­lion “il­le­gal” votes have been ver­i­fied. Stunned that Trump would cite his tweet as proof, he asked sheep­ishly: “Isn’t ev­ery­thing on Twit­ter fake?”

Get used to it — fak­ery is re­al­ity for Amer­ica’s next pres­i­dent, Au­gus­tus Trum­pus.

OtherWords colum­nist Jim Hightower is a ra­dio com­men­ta­tor, writer, and pub­lic speaker. He’s the edi­tor of the pop­ulist news­let­ter, The Hightower Low­down.

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