I said I’ll do it first thing to­mor­row

Record Observer - - Religion -

You would think be­ing a hus­band as long as I have been I would have learned the fine art of ne­go­ti­at­ing with my wife. And trust me, it is an artis­tic cre­ation.

When I got mar­ried, some­body told me that mar­riage was a 50-50 propo­si­tion, which be­ing the naive young man that I was, be­lieved it en­tirely.

The prob­lem I have dis­cov­ered is that 50 from a man’s point of view may not nec­es­sar­ily be 50 from a wo­man’s point of view. If I knew then what I know now, I would have asked that per­son to de­fine what they meant by 50.

Through the years, I dis­cov­ered that at times it is a 25-75 split. Other times it is a 0-100. No­body can be 100 per­cent right all the time un­less of course they are mar­ried to a hus­band.

When men get to­gether, they talk about sports, hunt­ing, cars and so forth.

When women get to­gether, they talk about how to deal with their hus­bands.

I know it does not sound fair, but then it is our fault as men for not get­ting our act to­gether.

Al­though, I must ad­mit that at this point in my life I do not have any re­grets. The only thing that I have trou­ble with is the word “to­mor­row.”

I am not quite sure what that word means from my wife’s per­spec­tive. From my per­spec­tive, the word “to­mor­row” is just a way of putting some­thing off and pos­si­bly not even do­ing it.

I never re­ally thought any­thing of it un­til re­cently. To me the word “to­mor­row” was just a ca­sual word I used to post­pone things. It was not un­til last week that it re­ally came to the forefront.

The Gra­cious Mis­tress of the Par­son­age asked me to do some­thing for her. I was re­ally busy at the time, I’m not sure what I was busy do­ing, but I was not pay­ing too much at­ten­tion. I smiled at her and said, “Okay.” Then, I went back to do­ing what­ever I was do­ing.

The next day she ap­proached me and said, “Did you do what I asked you to do yes­ter­day?”

I re­ally was not quite up to date on what she asked me to do yes­ter­day, but I said, “No, but I’ll do it to­mor­row.” To be fair, I ac­tu­ally for­got about it. I did not mean to for­get about it, but it does not change the fact that I for­got about it.

The next day she queried me rather sternly, “Did you do what I asked you to do the other day?”

At this point I was mar­i­nat­ing in that hus­band fog that seems to plague ev­ery hus­band and so I said, “No, but I’ll do it first thing to­mor­row for sure.”

If I thought that was the end of the con­ver­sa­tion, I was think­ing in vain.

“To­day,” she said as sternly as I have ever heard her speak, “is the to­mor­row you prom­ise to do it.”

Now I am swim­ming in that hus­band fog. How in the world can to­day be to­mor­row? At this point, I did not know if she was con­fused or if I was con­fused. To keep things safe, I will ad­mit to be­ing the one con­fused.

“Yes­ter­day,” she be­gan ex­plain­ing, “you said that to­mor­row you would do the task I asked you to do. Well,” she con­tin­ued, “this is that to­mor­row!”

For the life of me, I could not un­der­stand why to­day was ac­tu­ally to­mor­row. Then she said some­thing along the line that to­mor­row would ac­tu­ally be to­day. What I want to know is, is to­day to­mor­row or is to­mor­row to­day?

By this time I was so con­fused I had for­got­ten what she had asked me to do. My dilemma was, do I con­fess to her I had for­got­ten and ask her to re­mind me what she wanted me to do? Or, should I prom­ise to do it to­mor­row?

As you can imag­ine, the lat­ter was com­pletely off the table. I had to hum­ble my­self and ask her most sor­row­fully, “I’m sorry, what did you ask me to do?”

With both hands on her hips, she stared at me and said, “That’s ex­actly what I thought. You weren’t lis­ten­ing to me the first time, were you?”

Get­ting back to that 50-50 split; it is now 0-100 split. I am at the 0 and she is 100 per­cent right.

The art of ne­go­ti­at­ing with your wife be­gins by hum­bling your­self and say­ing that you are wrong. No­body wants to say that, but that is where ev­ery­thing be­gins.

I must con­fess that I do not al­ways hear ev­ery­thing and even what I do hear it does not re­ally regis­ter, as it should. I tried to use the old ex­cuse that I am too old and I for­get. How­ever, as you might imag­ine, that re­ally does not work.

Af­ter ex­plain­ing to me what she wanted me to do, I went off to do it. While I was on my way to ac­com­plish that which I had put off till to­mor­row a verse seemed to re­ver­ber­ate in my mind.

It was the apos­tle Paul writ­ing to the Corinthi­ans where he said, “Where­fore let him that thin­keth he standeth take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthi­ans 10:12).

If I am go­ing to think some­thing through care­fully I need to hear what is be­ing said, es­pe­cially who is say­ing it. I hope I learned my les­son that to­day is the to­mor­row I kicked down the road yes­ter­day.

Dr. James L. Sny­der is pas­tor of the Fam­ily of God Fel­low­ship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Sil­ver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or email jamess­ny­der2@att.net. The church web­site is www. whatafel­low­ship.com.

GRA­SONVILLE — Bryans Uni­tred Methodist Church in Gra­sonville will ob­serve its an­nual Women’s Day at 3:30 p.m. Sun­day, Feb. 26. Friends in Faith Choir will be in con­cert.

The Rev. Clarence A. Way­man is pas­tor.

CHURCH HILL — Bethel AME Church, 208 agnes St., will cel­e­brate Men’s Day on Sun­day, Feb. 26, at 4 p.m.. The Rev. Robert Brown of Bethel AME, Ch­ester­town, will be the guest preacher ac­com­pa­nied by choir and con­gre­ga­tion. All are welcome.

QUEEN­STOWN — To ac­com­mo­date Books Café, the St. Luke’s Shrove Tues­day Pan­cake Sup­per will move this year to the Old Wye Church Parish Hall in Wye Mills from 5:30 to 7 p.m. Feb. 28.

Come one, come all, for de­li­cious blue­berry pan­cakes and fresh lo­cal sausage. Adults, $8; chil­dren 6 to 10, $4;, un­der 6 free.

For in­for­ma­tion, call 410827-8484.

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