Black eye causes quandary of the first or­der

Record Observer - - RELIGION -

Quan­daries come in a va­ri­ety of sizes, shapes and colors. As some­one who is some­what of a con­nois­seur in this area, I can read­ily at­test to this. How­ever, many do not re­al­ize quan­daries come in two cat­e­gories.

First are those quan­daries that come about through no fault of the per­son in said quandary. For all prac­ti­cal pur­poses (and those in a quandary are usu­ally not prac­ti­cal), it is im­pos­si­ble to ad­e­quately pre­pare for such an event in life.

Se­cond are self-im­posed quan­daries. This, un­for­tu­nately, is the area where I floun­der the most. To be per­fectly hon­est, and I’m not sug­gest­ing that I’m per­fect; I have cre­ated most of the havoc in my life.

Be­lieve me, I would like to put the blame on some­one other than my­self in many of th­ese sit­u­a­tions but, alas, I am to blame. What I am about to re­late be­longs to the first cat­e­gory.

I found my­self in a quandary re­cently through no fault of mine. And yet, I’m not able to prove it. This is the most dis­cour­ag­ing thing. I know it was not my fault, but no­body will be­lieve me.

Through the years, I have adopted a cer­tain noc­tur­nal pro­ce­dure. When I get up in the mid­dle of the night to go to the bath­room I keep my eyes closed. There is a very sim­ple rea­son for this.

One, I know ex­actly where I am go­ing, so I don’t need to open my eyes.

Two, I do not want my body to know that I’m awake. I want to fool my body into be­liev­ing I’m asleep.

I used to do what every­body else does. Get up, open my eyes and go to the bath­room. How­ever, when­ever I did, my body thought I was up for the night and try as I might, I could not con­vince my body to go back to sleep un­til I made one trip to the kitchen, and you know what that meant. Ex­actly . . . the re­frig­er­a­tor.

This kitchen ap­pli­ance holds no ap­peal for me, but I do en­joy the con­tents. More­over, my body knows this only too well. So, I de­vised a plan to out­wit my body.

Some peo­ple would let their body dic­tate to them, but I am not of that breed. When I have to go to the bath­room in the mid­dle of the night, I am care­ful not to open my eyes.

With this strat­egy, I am able to get up, go to the bath­room and re­turn with­out my body be­ing aware of what is go­ing on. My plan worked quite well with­out a quandary in sight for years, un­til one night re­cently.

About 2:37 a.m., ac­cord­ing to the dig­i­tal clock by my bed­side, the urge to go the bath­room came upon me like a roar­ing lion. Be­ing care­ful not to arouse my body, I slunk out of bed, wary to keep both eyes closed.

Ev­ery­thing chugged along quite well and then, all of a sud­den there was a re­sound­ing “whack,” a flash of blind­ing light and a twinge that danced from my right eye all the way down to the soles of my feet, only to re­turn.

Quickly fol­low­ing this, a loud squawk emit­ted from my mouth. All this com­mo­tion com­pletely aroused my body to a state of full awak­e­ness. By this time, my body, my wife and I were wide-awake.

As it turned out, some­one, and I’m not men­tion­ing any names, left the bath­room door open. It opens into our bed­room and I had run smack, dab into it. The re­sult was a black eye to beat all black eyes.

There are worse things in this world than run­ning into a door — like ex­plain­ing to your de­voted pub­lic how you got that black eye.

While my right eye was throb­bing, I never gave any thought to how I would ex­plain it. How­ever, it was a quandary and it was not of my do­ing.

“How did you get that black eye?” A friend asked me the next day. It was a per­fectly in­no­cent ques­tion so I cheer­fully (if you can be cheer­ful with a black eye) said, “I ran into a door last night.”

I thought this would be the end of the mat­ter. Boy, was I ever in for a shock.

“Sure, you did,” my friend replied sar­cas­ti­cally. Then he winked. I soon re­al­ized I was in for some trou­ble. You can only do so much to hide a black eye.

An­other friend: “What hap­pened to your eye? You talked back to your wife or some­thing?” This is usu­ally fol­lowed by that in­sid­i­ous laugh, “Tee, hee, hee.”

Why is it that when a per­son gets a black eye from run­ning into a door no­body be­lieves him? Af­ter all, I’m not in the habit of telling out­right lies. I may ex­ag­ger­ate or rear­range the facts, but I never would out­right lie about any­thing. Es­pe­cially if re­lated to my wife.

While feel­ing a lit­tle blue over my black eye, I dis­cov­ered some­thing in my Bi­ble. David knew of quan­daries and wrote many Psalms cel­e­brat­ing this fact of life.

“Though I walk in the midst of trou­ble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine ene­mies, and thy right hand shall save me” (Psalms 138:7).

It is in­evitable that quan­daries will come. Some from out of the blue and some of my own cre­ation. The com­fort­ing truth is, God will al­ways “revive me” in His own spe­cial way.

Dr. James L. Sny­der is pastor of the Fam­ily of God Fel­low­ship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Sil­ver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or email jamess­ny­der2@att.net. The church web­site is www. whatafel­low­ship.com.

CEN­TRE­VILLE — Cen­tre­ville United Methodist Church, 608 Church Hill Road, will hold its Spring Fling Flower Mart and Mother’s Day Lun­cheon from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. May 13. For in­for­ma­tion, call Phyl­lis Hoff­man at 410-7390851.

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