How women can celebrate (Not My) President’s Day
Holidays are fun, aren’t they? They’re opportunities to eat cake, justify your “whiskey issues” and create Pinterest projects you found when you were high. If you’re suffering from the postValentine’s Day blues, don’t fret. Presidents Day is right around the corner, and thanks to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, there’s a new twist this year.
(Not My) President’s Day celebrations are being planned across the country—and you’re going to want in on the action.
1. Unironically shout, “Thanks, Obama!”: It won’t change who’s currently occupying the Oval Office, but it will feel very liberating. This is your (NM) President’s Day, so send Barack a Groupon for kitesurfing. 2. Wear your Thinx undies regardless of whether or not you’re menstruating or even have a uterus: The past month has proven that in 2017, anything can happen. You should always be prepared for bloodshed. It’s just like Thomas Jefferson said: “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and nasty women.”
3. Make a vision board of the America you’d like to see in the near future: Mine will mostly consist of photos of men riding public transit with their legs closed and that stone cold fox, POTUS 14 Franklin Pierce. But you live your own personal dreams!
4. Find anything you can vote for and vote: It doesn’t matter if it’s political or not. Take some online quizzes. Vote for potato chip flavors. It doesn’t matter; just cast some ballots. Who knows when our voting rights are going to get revoked?
5. Bust out those gel pens from 1998: Cover your body head to toe in sparkly messages