Dear Abby

Richmond Times-Dispatch Weekend - - ADVICE & PUZZLE - — Uni­ver­sal Uclick Dear Abby: www.DearAbby.co­mor P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069

Dear Abby: I dearly love my hus­band. We’ve been­mar­ried 33 years. We have raised three pro­duc­tive cit­i­zens, have five beau­ti­ful grand­chil­dren and live in the heart­land of Amer­ica.

Like most cou­ples, we’ve had our ups and downs. My prob­lem is my hus­band is a slob. He al­ways has been, but it’s get­ting worse.

He works. I stayed home and raised our kids and­made the house a home. He brings home the ba­con, does the yard work, takes out the trash and fixes things ( on his own terms). I pay the bills, clean the house, cook din­ner, and do any­thing else that needs do­ing ( sched­ule doc­tor’s ap­point­ments, etc.).

He thinks that be­cause he doesn’t beat me, we have a good­mar­riage. I have a se­ri­ous is­sue with his messi­ness. I amjust about ready to chuck him to the door.

I’ve tried talk­ing to him about it, but we al­ways end up ar­gu­ing. He says I treat him like a child ( well ... truth be told, he’s ACT­ING like one). I have ex­plained to him why I need him to pick up af­ter him­self, but he takes it as a per­sonal af­front and storms off. I’matmy wits’ end. What can I do to fix this? — TIDY SPOUSE IN OHIO

Dear Tidy: To be hon­est, I’mnot sure that at this point you can “fix this.” Your hus­band’s slop­pi­ness may be the legacy of a mother who never taught him to keep his room clean, and your own fail­ure to put your foot down dur­ing the first years of your­mar­riage. Of course, you could al­ways stop pick­ing up af­ter him. But if you do, I’m afraid the mess will reach pro­por­tions you— not he— will be un­able to tol­er­ate.

Dear Read­ers: Med­i­cal eye ex­ams can catch early signs of disease be­fore vi­sion is lost. In ad­di­tion, many dis­eases can be di­ag­nosed early through amed­i­cal eye exam.

For se­niors who haven’t had an exam in three or more years, the Amer­i­can Academy of Oph­thal­mol­ogy’s EyeCare Amer­ica pro­gram may be able to help. More than 90 per­cent of the eye care pro­vided by nearly 6,000 vol­un­teer oph­thal­mol­o­gists is at no out- of- pocket cost to the pa­tient.

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