Wife is shamed by husband’s insistence on wearing tights
DEAR ABBY » My husband and I are in our early 50s and married for nine years. I hate to say this, but the way he dresses embarrasses me to tears, and it’s hurting our relationship.
Is it acceptable for a man to wear tights and nothing else? I’m not talking yoga pants; I mean ballerina dancer sheer tights that leave NOTHING to the imagination. He mainly wears them in our garage (where people who drive by can see), but lately I’ve caught him standing talking to neighbors like that. Am I overreacting by telling him he can’t wear things like that outside the house? If it isn’t the tights, it’s skin-tight biker-type shorts or shorts made from a mesh material that shows it ALL if there’s a light source behind him.
We have gone rounds over this almost daily. He promises he will stop, but it’s only a matter of hours before he’s back in costume. Is it OK to wear things like that now? I don’t see women wearing tights that show off as much as his do. I’m at the point I want to gather up all offending clothing and head to the dumpster.
— Mortified in California
DEAR MORTIFIED » Your husband appears to be an exhibitionist who cannot control his urges. Frankly, I am surprised the neighbors haven’t complained after seeing him in that attire. Ordinarily, I would advise you to let your husband wear what he wants, but in a case like this, it might be prudent to check what the ordinances regarding indecent exposure are in your
community.
DEAR ABBY » I’m a woman in my mid-40s and have been with my husband for almost 20 years. I have never wanted children. I’m 100% certain about that and have been since I was a kid myself. In fact, I had my tubes tied when I turned 30.
For me, the no-children rule is nonnegotiable. My husband knew this going into our marriage and was fine with it, but in the past few years he has been expressing an increasingly strong desire for a child.
He has now taken to shaming me, saying things like he’s depressed, that he’ll never be happy “unless I give him what he wants” or that I’d do it “if I truly loved him.” He always apologizes later, saying he loves me and wants things to work out.
I cannot compromise on this. It seems we have reached an impasse. I don’t know what to do. — Broken in
Michigan
DEAR BROKEN » You and your husband have indeed reached an impasse. Because you don’t want children and because of your age, if he needs them, he may have to do it with someone else. I am sorry if this seems brutal, but there is no compromise in a situation like yours. Please accept my sympathy.