Mom fights to prevent frustrated outbursts

DEAR ABBY » I’m a 24-year-old woman who has been married for four years. My husband, “Jerry,” and I have two young boys. Jerry is military. I stay at home with the kids and work part time online on an associate degree. We struggle financially, but our basic needs are met and, overall, I’m happy with my life.

My problem is I’m finding myself struggling to control a very strong temper. The kids or my husband may be getting on my nerves, or I’m late turning in an assignment, or I’m unable to get housework done — these frustrations build up inside and make me want to throw a fit, scream or throw things, essentially NOT be the cool, responsible adult I typically am.

I know this is incredibly immature, and I realize I’m well off in the grand scheme of things, but this anger still brews. I have never had a problem controlling my temper before. Can you help?

— Fired Up in Florida

DEAR FIRED UP » Because you are constantly with your children, it’s important that you manage your emotions before venting them on your little ones, which can be destructive. When an adult yells or acts out in front of a small child, the child will often shut down out of fear that violence may follow. This is why it’s so important for you to find appropriate ways to express your emotions. My booklet “The Anger in All of Us and How To Deal With It” offers suggestions for directing angry feelings in a healthy way. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.