So­lu­tions in hind­sight; it’s too darned late

San Francisco Chronicle - - DATEBOOK - LEAH GARCHIK Open for busi­ness in San Fran­cisco (415) 777-8426. Email: lgar­chik@sfchron­i­cle.com Twit­ter: @leah­garchik

The theme here is “How They Could Have Saved the Day (But Didn’t)”:

Ital­ian or­tho­don­tist Loredana Bot­tal­ico sends word of “Michael Jackson Syn­drome,” a book in which she (as a co-writer) says she could have saved the pop star with proper den­tal care. “I stud­ied my pa­tients from that holis­tic den­tistry per­spec­tive, lis­ten­ing and ex­am­in­ing them care­fully. Then I treated their pos­tural symp­toms in har­mony with or­di­nary den­tal prob­lems . ... Michael was not ad­dicted to painkillers! Nowa­days pa­tients suf­fer­ing pos­tural prob­lems have no al­ter­na­tive to suf­fer­ing and med­i­ca­tion, and this book is a mes­sage of hope.” I’m feel­ing it al­ready.

And in that same spirit (sell­ing some­thing), Ooma.com, which de­scribes it­self as a “lead­ing In­ter­net home phone ser­vice,” is claim­ing that if 911 had been di­aled from a land­line rather than a cell phone, Prince might have sur­vived. “Re­spon­ders would have au­to­mat­i­cally had Prince’s lo­ca­tion and taken im­me­di­ate ac­tion had the call come from a home phone . ... Prince’s story raises im­por­tant ques­tions about the use of land­lines and cell phones in times of cri­sis.” The com­pany’s CEO is avail­able for in­ter­view.

And how far has tech come? Maybe, in some cases, too far.

Among the press re­leases re­ceived re­cently: “New York Area Alzheimer’s Home Care Agency to Of­fer ‘Vir­tual’ Spir­i­tual Care” and “I’m do­ing the first-ever Face­book Live video from un­der­wa­ter . ... The fo­cus of the dis­cus­sion is on poverty and con­ser­va­tion.”

Else­where in the in­no­va­tion biz, VapeEx­hale has sent word of its “first-ever cannabis ath­letic train­ing ses­sion . ... This event isn’t about ‘get­ting stoned and work­ing out,’ in­stead it will fo­cus on how to use cannabis to max­i­mize ath­letic and men­tal per­for­mance dur­ing com­pe­ti­tion.” But isn’t it il­le­gal to use per­for­mance-en­hanc­ing sub­stances in ath­letic com­pe­ti­tion?

It took Carey Perloff 18 hours to read aloud her own book, “Beau­ti­ful Chaos,” for the Au­di­ble ver­sion of it. “Boy, is that hard,” said the Amer­i­can Con­ser­va­tory Theater artis­tic direc­tor.

John Fiore says there’s a long-closed Adult Day Health Care Cen­ter in his neigh­bor­hood, the Ex­cel­sior, with a sign on the door that says, “Sorry — no so­lic­i­ta­tions, no rest room, no pub­lic phone, no copy machine.” Three feet away is an­other sign: “Please ring bell for ser­vice.”

Craigslist founder Craig New­mark has given $50,000 to the Univer­sity of San Fran­cisco to fund 10 $5,000 New­mark Schol­ar­ships to En­cour­age Eth­i­cal Pub­lic Ser­vice. The money will go to USF stu­dents study­ing at the univer­sity’s Leo T. McCarthy Cen­ter for Pub­lic Ser­vice and the Com­mon Good in Wash­ing­ton, D.C. New­mark was awarded an honorary doc­tor­ate from USF in 2009. Re­tirees Cea and Jack Soares, in­un­dated by robo-calls, re­ceived one the other day with the caller ID that read “Il­le­gal Scam.” Jack couldn’t re­sist pick­ing it up, but “it was only ‘robo-Diane’ with a very sin­cere of­fer to clear our car­pets.”

PUB­LIC EAVES­DROP­PING “You have wa­ter. You have an iPad. You don’t know what stress is!” Mother to son, aboard a flight that has been di­verted, over­heard by Su­san Roth­stein

Dhyan Ra­ufa took a pic­ture of an aban­doned mat­tress on Third Av­enue near Anza Street. Who­ever had dumped the piece of dec­o­ra­tive street art — or per­haps a passerby? — used its flat sur­face as a sign­board on which to con­vey a mes­sage:

“Each friend rep­re­sents a world in us, a world pos­si­bly not born un­til they ar­rive, and it is only by this meet­ing that a new world is born. — Anaïs Nin.”

“They even got the di­aere­sis spray-painted in,” said Ra­ufa. “Is this a lit­er­ate city, or what?”

Burn­ing Man or­ga­niz­ers have an­nounced the com­ing of “Burner Ex­press Air: Burn­erOwned-and-Op­er­ated Air Trans­port to Black Rock City.” This is pur­ported to make it eas­ier to fly there, and also to al­le­vi­ate con­ges­tion traf­fic on High­way 447. Last year, say the or­ga­niz­ers, more than 2,300 peo­ple flew into the Black Rock City Mu­nic­i­pal Air­port in Ne­vada, via burner-op­er­ated Ad­van­tage Flight So­lu­tions of Reno.

Al­though the Burner Ex­press web­site says that its rates are the low­est they will be this year — “and they will in­crease through­out sum­mer” — the flights are not in­ex­pen­sive. Round trip from San Car­los Air­port to Black Rock City on a shared flight is $1,065; to book a pri­vate air­craft one way costs any­where from $3,500 to $6,500. In other trav­el­ing news, Deb­o­rah Strobin and her grand­chil­dren were get­ting into a cab in Ber­lin “when the driver asked me if I was vot­ing for Trump. If I did,” he told her, “he would throw us out of the cab.”

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