Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...

San Francisco Chronicle - - PAGE 2 - Scott Ostler is a San Fran­cisco Chron­i­cle colum­nist. Email: sostler@sfchron­i­ Twitter: @scot­tostler

Don’t you think Jimmy Garop­polo is thrilled to have es­caped that Pa­tri­ots soap opera and psy­chodrama?

Ac­tu­ally, the nim­ble Garop­polo prob­a­bly was do­ing just fine ne­go­ti­at­ing the tricky emo­tional mine­field in New Eng­land. But in a notes col­umn, kids, it’s vi­tal to have Jimmy G as your lead item.

Dwight Clark, over lunch last week with some old sports­writers, said he has no­ticed that Garop­polo is a hand­some dude. Clark said he and his wife were watch­ing a 49ers’ game on TV when she asked him whether Garop­polo is mar­ried. “I told her he is. I don’t know if he is, but I told her he is.”

Jon Gru­den is such a fun guy! But I won­der whether

Derek Carr, af­ter a tough loss and three in­ter­cep­tions, will find Gru­den the same charm­ing and funsy guy he was on

“QB Camp.” OK, Coach, I get your point, I shouldn’t have au­di­b­lized out of Spi­der 2 Y Ba­nana.

Carr to Gru­den, over the whir of the pro­jec­tor at 5 o’clock some fu­ture morn­ing: “I’m mak­ing 25 mil this year, you’re mak­ing 10. I don’t even eat ba­nanas on my Chee­rios.”

If you’re keep­ing score at home, my sources tell me Gru­den checks in at No. 2 on the lat­est Bay Area sports cute­ness power rank­ings. (Sorry, Steph and B-Craw.)

It’s a bad look, the Raiders un­der in­ves­ti­ga­tion for pos­si­ble vi­o­la­tion of the Rooney Rule. What Mark Davis should have told Gru­den: “Jon, you know I love you, but this a big de­ci­sion and I’m go­ing to in­ter­view at least one other can­di­date be­fore I make a fi­nal call.” A lapse of lead­er­ship by Davis’ top ad­vis­ers.

For ev­ery Raiders’ fan cel­e­brat­ing the ar­rival of Gru­den, mil­lions of NFL fans mourn his de­par­ture from MNF tele­casts.

Steve Young would be great, but is not in­ter­ested. Hey, maybe the Raiders can give Gru­den Mon­day nights off.

Steve Kerr launched a great stat dis­cus­sion when he men­tioned how crazy it is that LeBron James is play­ing bet­ter in Year 15 of his NBA ca­reer than he played in Year 10. “Who does that?” Kerr asked. I came up with one: Barry Bonds .In Year 10 (1995) Bonds’ stats were .294 BA/33 HRs/104 RBIs/1.009 OPS. In Year 15: .306/49/106/ 1.127. And Year 19 was even stronger. Feel free to at­tach your own as­ter­isks. Bonds was bet­ter older, but

Tom Brady is in the dis­cus­sion. In Year 10 (2010) Brady’s stats were 36 TDs/4 INTs/65.9 com­ple­tion per­cent­age/111.0 passer rat­ing. In Year 15: 36/7/ 64.4/ 102.2. But he com­pleted 78 more passes in Year 15.

And you have to fac­tor in that Brady, in Year 15, hav­ing been busted dur­ing the pre­vi­ous sea­son’s play­offs, was forced to play with big­ger (in terms of PSI) balls. The A’s will bring in Lew

Krausse to throw the first pitch April 17, the 50th an­niver­sary of the team’s first Oak­land Open­ing Day. Krausse was the starter in the 1968 sea­son opener. Good choice. Krausse was the first player to sign an Oak­land A’s con­tract. And he was fined by A’s owner Char­lie

Fin­ley for in­ap­pro­pri­ate be­hav­ior af­ter an in-flight in­ci­dent. The old fire­baller is 74, so his fast­ball might have dipped into the low 90s, but he will be avail­able for short re­lief.

What Lonzo Ball seems des­tined to never get: re­spect. And in the NBA, that’s the coin of the realm. He’s got to stand up and de­nounce his father, or for­ever be seen as a va­cant-eyed kid danc­ing on Dad’s pup­pet strings.

Ap­par­ently it’s a rule: Ev­ery NFL football team’s fan base must have its own cute nick­name. Raider Na­tion, 49er Faith­ful, Seat­tle’s 12th Man. By far the worst: Ram­ily. Rams’ Fam­ily? Get it?

Not to dim the hy­pes­te­ria over Gru­den’s ar­rival, but it’s worth men­tion­ing that his Su­per Bowl win, a glit­ter­ing di­a­mond in his re­sume, was a gift from Raiders coach Bill

Cal­la­han (he didn’t dis­guise the play-call­ing ter­mi­nol­ogy that Gru­den left be­hind) and

Bar­ret Rob­bins (he had a ter­ri­ble Sun­day and a worse week).

Dray­mond Green is the War­riors’ poet lau­re­ate, but

Kevin Du­rant sneaked in a good one af­ter Clip­pers’ guard

Lou Wil­liams scored 50 points Wed­nes­day night. Du­rant: “He or­dered 50-piece Nuggets on us tonight.” I checked, Du­rant does not have an en­dorse­ment deal with McDon­ald’s.

Dept. of Cor­rec­tions: Un­der ex­cru­ci­at­ing dead­line pres­sure, I typed “Roscoe” as the name of

Klay Thomp­son’s dog, in­stead of “Rocco.” I blame it on a key­board buildup of toxic de­bris from Flamin’ Hot Chee­tos. Apolo­gies to Rocco.

If I ever get an­other dog, I’m nam­ing him Roscoe. Or maybe Ro­coco, which, as you know, is a baroque style of dec­o­ra­tion. Like what they had in the White House dur­ing the pres­i­dency of Baroque Obama. Yes, I was go­ing for baroque on that pun.

Mar­cio Jose Sanchez / As­so­ci­ated Press

Jon Gru­den greets re­porters af­ter he was pub­licly in­tro­duced as the Raiders’ head coach.

Charles Krupa / As­so­ci­ated Press 2017

Pa­tri­ots quar­ter­back Tom Brady lost his un­der­study when Jimmy Garop­polo was traded to the 49ers in a pe­cu­liar deal.

Sean M. Haf­fey / Getty Im­ages 2017

Dad of the Lak­ers’ Lonzo Ball (above) is a to­tal dis­trac­tion.

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