Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...
Don’t you think Jimmy Garoppolo is thrilled to have escaped that Patriots soap opera and psychodrama?
Actually, the nimble Garoppolo probably was doing just fine negotiating the tricky emotional minefield in New England. But in a notes column, kids, it’s vital to have Jimmy G as your lead item.
Dwight Clark, over lunch last week with some old sportswriters, said he has noticed that Garoppolo is a handsome dude. Clark said he and his wife were watching a 49ers’ game on TV when she asked him whether Garoppolo is married. “I told her he is. I don’t know if he is, but I told her he is.”
Jon Gruden is such a fun guy! But I wonder whether
Derek Carr, after a tough loss and three interceptions, will find Gruden the same charming and funsy guy he was on
“QB Camp.” OK, Coach, I get your point, I shouldn’t have audiblized out of Spider 2 Y Banana.
Carr to Gruden, over the whir of the projector at 5 o’clock some future morning: “I’m making 25 mil this year, you’re making 10. I don’t even eat bananas on my Cheerios.”
If you’re keeping score at home, my sources tell me Gruden checks in at No. 2 on the latest Bay Area sports cuteness power rankings. (Sorry, Steph and B-Craw.)
It’s a bad look, the Raiders under investigation for possible violation of the Rooney Rule. What Mark Davis should have told Gruden: “Jon, you know I love you, but this a big decision and I’m going to interview at least one other candidate before I make a final call.” A lapse of leadership by Davis’ top advisers.
For every Raiders’ fan celebrating the arrival of Gruden, millions of NFL fans mourn his departure from MNF telecasts.
Steve Young would be great, but is not interested. Hey, maybe the Raiders can give Gruden Monday nights off.
Steve Kerr launched a great stat discussion when he mentioned how crazy it is that LeBron James is playing better in Year 15 of his NBA career than he played in Year 10. “Who does that?” Kerr asked. I came up with one: Barry Bonds .In Year 10 (1995) Bonds’ stats were .294 BA/33 HRs/104 RBIs/1.009 OPS. In Year 15: .306/49/106/ 1.127. And Year 19 was even stronger. Feel free to attach your own asterisks. Bonds was better older, but
Tom Brady is in the discussion. In Year 10 (2010) Brady’s stats were 36 TDs/4 INTs/65.9 completion percentage/111.0 passer rating. In Year 15: 36/7/ 64.4/ 102.2. But he completed 78 more passes in Year 15.
And you have to factor in that Brady, in Year 15, having been busted during the previous season’s playoffs, was forced to play with bigger (in terms of PSI) balls. The A’s will bring in Lew
Krausse to throw the first pitch April 17, the 50th anniversary of the team’s first Oakland Opening Day. Krausse was the starter in the 1968 season opener. Good choice. Krausse was the first player to sign an Oakland A’s contract. And he was fined by A’s owner Charlie
Finley for inappropriate behavior after an in-flight incident. The old fireballer is 74, so his fastball might have dipped into the low 90s, but he will be available for short relief.
What Lonzo Ball seems destined to never get: respect. And in the NBA, that’s the coin of the realm. He’s got to stand up and denounce his father, or forever be seen as a vacant-eyed kid dancing on Dad’s puppet strings.
Apparently it’s a rule: Every NFL football team’s fan base must have its own cute nickname. Raider Nation, 49er Faithful, Seattle’s 12th Man. By far the worst: Ramily. Rams’ Family? Get it?
Not to dim the hypesteria over Gruden’s arrival, but it’s worth mentioning that his Super Bowl win, a glittering diamond in his resume, was a gift from Raiders coach Bill
Callahan (he didn’t disguise the play-calling terminology that Gruden left behind) and
Barret Robbins (he had a terrible Sunday and a worse week).
Draymond Green is the Warriors’ poet laureate, but
Kevin Durant sneaked in a good one after Clippers’ guard
Lou Williams scored 50 points Wednesday night. Durant: “He ordered 50-piece Nuggets on us tonight.” I checked, Durant does not have an endorsement deal with McDonald’s.
Dept. of Corrections: Under excruciating deadline pressure, I typed “Roscoe” as the name of
Klay Thompson’s dog, instead of “Rocco.” I blame it on a keyboard buildup of toxic debris from Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Apologies to Rocco.
If I ever get another dog, I’m naming him Roscoe. Or maybe Rococo, which, as you know, is a baroque style of decoration. Like what they had in the White House during the presidency of Baroque Obama. Yes, I was going for baroque on that pun.
Jon Gruden greets reporters after he was publicly introduced as the Raiders’ head coach.
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady lost his understudy when Jimmy Garoppolo was traded to the 49ers in a peculiar deal.
Dad of the Lakers’ Lonzo Ball (above) is a total distraction.