New Year’s res­o­lu­tions that we can all keep

Serve Daily - - FOSTERING INNOVATION - By Joe Capell

It’s Jan­uary! It’s a brand new year, and that means it’s time for a fresh start. Many of us use the new year as a be­gin­ning point to re­solve to be bet­ter peo­ple.

New Year’s res­o­lu­tions can be big busi­ness. If you’ve ever been to the gym to work­out dur­ing the first two weeks of Jan­uary, you know what I mean.

We make all kinds of New Year’s res­o­lu­tions. We re­solve to go to the gym. We re­solve to eat health­ier. We re­solve to not watch as much tele­vi­sion. We re­solve to not swear as much. We re­solve to be­come more spir­i­tual. We re­solve to be bet­ter neigh­bors. We re­solve to be bet­ter peo­ple.

And, for the first three or four weeks of the year, we re­mem­ber our res­o­lu­tions and we ac­tu­ally do a pretty good job of keep­ing them.

But, by the time May rolls around we’re back to grab­bing a tub of ice cream and a bag of McDon­ald’s fries while we sit on the couch and watch “Wheel of For­tune” and curse at Pat Sa­jak.

Maybe what we need is to not push our­selves so hard. Maybe we need to be not quite so am­bi­tious. Maybe what we need are New Year’s res­o­lu­tions we can all ac­tu­ally keep. Here are a few we might start with: I will take down the Christ­mas tree some­time be­fore Me­mo­rial Day.

I will not eat an en­tire half-gal­lon of ice cream in one sit­ting. I will not kill any co-work­ers. I will shower or bathe at least once a week, whether I need to or not.

I will not waste time by watch­ing any tele­vi­sion pro­gram fea­tur­ing any­one with the last name of “Kar­dashian.”

I will not eat any more than six donuts in any one day. (Do ap­ple frit­ters count as donuts? I may have to re­think this one.)

I will not flip any­one off while driv­ing. (No one needs to see my mid­dle fin­ger.)

I will not punch in the face the per­son in front of me who has 43 items in the “15 Items Or Less” check­out line.

I will not lick the cake and/or frost­ing off of the can­dles any time I am around a birth­day cake.

If we start off small, maybe we can ac­tu­ally keep our res­o­lu­tions. (We can al­ways lose the weight next year.)

For more funny-ish stuff, check out slowjoe40.com.

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