The vac­uum and the ‘one thing’ left on the car­pet

Serve Daily - - FOSTERING INNOVATION - By Joe Capell

There’s al­ways the ONE THING that the vac­uum won’t pick up, no mat­ter how good your vac­uum is. You’ll see the ONE THING, but you won’t know it’s the ONE THING yet. You’ll just think it’s yet an­other some­thing that the vac­uum will pick up. You’ll run the vac­uum over it, and be sur­prised the ONE THING is still there.

You’ll back the vac­uum over the ONE THING again. This time, you’re not as sur­prised to see it still there. Now you are start­ing to re­al­ize that this might be the ONE THING.

But, maybe it’s not. So, you run the vac­uum over the ONE THING again. And again. And again. And again, push­ing down ex­tra hard on the vac­uum. But, it’s still there: The ONE THING.

So, you fi­nally give up. You reach down and pick up the ONE THING.

What hap­pens next can say a lot about the kind of per­son you are. You’ve picked up the ONE THING. What do you do with it? Do you put it in your pocket and con­tinue vac­u­um­ing? Do you im­me­di­ately put it in the garbage? Or, do you fluff it up a lit­tle and drop it back onto the floor, be­cause, by gosh, this vac­uum is go­ing to pick up this ONE THING if it’s the last thing it does! (Guilty.)

And then, you vac­uum the ONE THING again, hop­ing to high heaven that the vac­uum picks it up, be­cause noth­ing is quite as hu­mil­i­at­ing as hav­ing to reach down and pick up the ONE THING a se­cond time.

Of course, be­fore you can vac­uum, you have to clear the floor of things that are too “big.” But at what point is some­thing too “big” for the vac­uum? Some­thing the size of a quar­ter? A dime? A thumb­tack? A pin? The head of a pin?

It seems point­less to vac­uum if you have to pick up ev­ery­thing that is on the floor be­fore you start. Isn’t that what the vac­uum is for? If you have to pick ev­ery­thing up by hand, why use the vac­uum at all?

There is some­thing worse than the ONE THING while vac­u­um­ing: the OTHER THING.

You never see the OTHER THING. But, you know it when you hear it.

You’ll vac­uum over the OTHER THING with­out re­al­iz­ing it. Sud­denly, it sounds like some­one has put a spoon in the sink dis­posal. Or turned on the blender with a bunch of coins in it.

That’s when you find out how fast you can turn off the vac­uum!

You know, maybe I should just get wood floors.

For more funny-ish stuff, go to slowjoe40.com.

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