5 things par­ents can’t avoid

Serve Daily - - BUILDING COMMUNITY - By Joe Capell

As­par­ents, we all have the best of in­ten­tions. We want to be good par­ents and raise fine, up­stand­ing chil­dren. But no mat­ter how hard we try to do what is right and avoid any mis­takes, there are some things that just can’t be avoided. These things will hap­pen no mat­ter how hard we try or how good we are as par­ents.

1. Your child WILL pick some­thing up off the floor and put it into their mouth. It doesn’t mat­ter how of­ten you sweep, mop and/or vac­uum. You could vac­uum 14 times a day and it wouldn’t make a dif­fer­ence. Your child WILL find some­thing on the floor that they can pick up and put into their mouth.

2. Your child WILL get food all over his face and clothes. At some point you will have to take off the bib and let your child feed him­self. And when you do, no mat­ter how well you’ve taught him how to use a fork and a spoon, he will get food all over his face and all over his clothes. There’s noth­ing you can do about it (ex­cept pre-soak the stains be­fore you wash them).

3. Your child WILL poop in the tub. De­spite how quick or thor­ough or pre­cise you are at bathing your child, at some point your child will poop in the bath­tub. And, at that mo­ment, you will not know what to do. You’ll panic. What you need to do is calm down and get to work. You have to drain the tub, clean the poop off of the baby, clean the poop off of the tub, then start a new bath. (And hope to high heaven that the baby doesn’t poop in the tub again and re-start the whole cy­cle.)

4. You WILL get child fin­ger­prints on your glasses. You might THINK you are keep­ing your child a safe dis­tance from your face. It doesn’t mat­ter. If you have chil­dren and you have glasses, you WILL get child fin­ger­prints on your glasses. And if you don’t have glasses? Don’t worry, they’ll get plenty of fin­ger­prints on the screens of your phone, lap­top and tele­vi­sion.

5. Your child WILL be able to op­er­ate your elec­tronic de­vices bet­ter than you can. My 6 year-old can nav­i­gate through the iPad five times faster than I can. My tod­dler reg­u­larly at­tempts to or­der movies from Net­flix. (And we don’t even have Net­flix!) Un­less you have a master’s de­gree in com­puter sci­ence, you don’t stand a chance. (And even then ....)

For more funny-ish stuff, check out slowjoe40.com.

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