Kew dishes provide a full plate of family dinner options
Editor’s note: As part of the Arts & Lecture Series for the Education Foundation of Upper Dublin School District, Mike and special guest, Philadelphia singer-songwriter Dan May, will offer a “Dancing in My Underwear” performance of storytelling and music at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 25, at the new Performing Arts Center at Upper Dublin High School. For ticket information, go to www.udsd.org.
qhe only thing f know about dishes is that f usually eat everything that’s on one placed in front of meK po it is no surprise that f was unaware that we needed new dishes at our houseK
A quick look inside the kitchen cabinets — and the china cabinet in the dining room and the storage cabinet in the garage and the attic and the storage space in the basement — reveals that we seem to have lots of dishesK qhis is what must have fooled me into thinking that we had all the dishes that we neededK
AlasI this was not the case last weekendK qhe Blonde Accountant was preparing a big family dinner for NN people to celebrate my birthdayK phe likes meI which is a good thing for a marriageI and she wanted to make sure f had a special celebrationK
po she laid out this wonderful table in the dining roomI complete with beautiful fall colors and centerpiecesK phe even ironed the table covers and napkins to take out the creasesI something f’m pretty sure f would never have thought of doingK f’m not sure f would even notice that table covers and napkins even have creases in themK qo me it’s kind of like ironing one’s undershortsK tho cares about creases in table coverings and undershorts?
But it was a lot of effortI it was a gorgeous table and it was very much appreciated on my partK
As we were surveying the dining room the night before the big shindigI she suddenly started to have second thoughts that something was missingK
“te need new dishesI” she saidK
qhisI gentlemenI is what f call “5uW 5Rw THrrLWRry.” SHH, Py firVW responseI which could be interpreted as insensitiveI would have been to sayI “ko we don’tI we have plenty of nice dishes in every cabinet in the houseK”
qhat would be incorrectK qhere is actually more information to the equationI information that we men need so as not to come off sounding like we usually doI which is to sayI like big knuckleheaded idiotsK
cortunatelyI f sensed something was afootI that f did indeed not have all the information f needed to formulate an appropriate response to the “te need new dishes” commentK
po in a most sensitive wayI f responded accordinglyK “euh?” f saidK phortI sweet and ambiguous enough to stay out of the line of firH IRr WKH PRPHnW. , wDV SrHWWy proud that f had crafted that type of responseK
As it turns outI the dishes we would normally use for such a fancy schmancy soiree were her grandmother’s dishesK And those KHLrORRP dLVKHV KDvH bOuH flRwHrV Rn WKHP. TKH bOuH flRwHrV wHrH nRW going to go with the fall-themed colors of the table covers and centerpiecesK
lhI all rightI f see K K K it makes perfect senseK qhat was the message f conveyed on the outsideK ln the insideI my thinking was that f was pretty sure that f didn’t even realize that the fancy dishes were once her grandmother’s dishes and f’m just as certain that f had absolutely no clue that they had blue flRwHrV Rn WKHP.
Before f knew itI she was out the doorK kow this was a little after 8 pKmK on paturday night for the R pKmK dinner schedule for the following dayK But she was on her way so quickly that f could only assume that late on a paturday night is the optimum time to go shopping for dishesK
iess than a half-hour laterI she returned with two big boxes of new dishesK qhey were what f’d call a plain patternI but with no colors on themK f’d call them white dishes but apparently there are several colors of white when it comes to dishes and f can’t begin to remember or explain them all to youK
Boxes of new dishes are heavy and f don’t own a forkliftI so f enlisted the help of pon of Blonde Accountant and ohI N8 or N9 other husbands from the neighborhood to carry the dishes from the car to the kitchenI where of courseI they needed to be washed before they were put on the tableK Another thing f didn’t knowW qhat one has to wash dishes that are already clean and spanking new out of the boxK
qhe end result was that all turned out wellK qhe dinner was spectacularI everyone commented on how nice the table looked and K K K nobody made one comment on the new dishesK
“f’m sorry nobody commented on your new dishesI” f saidK
“koI noI that’s lhK qhey go with everythingI so the fact that they went unnoticed is a good thingI” said qhe Blonde AccountantK
lhK tellI that makes perfect senseK
Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at email@example.com. This column can also be found at www.montgomerynews.com.