Kew dishes pro­vide a full plate of fam­ily din­ner op­tions

Souderton Independent - - SPORTSROUNDUP -

Ed­i­tor’s note: As part of the Arts & Lec­ture Se­ries for the Ed­u­ca­tion Foun­da­tion of Up­per Dublin School Dis­trict, Mike and spe­cial guest, Philadel­phia singer-song­writer Dan May, will of­fer a “Danc­ing in My Un­der­wear” per­for­mance of sto­ry­telling and mu­sic at 7:30 p.m. Thurs­day, Oct. 25, at the new Per­form­ing Arts Cen­ter at Up­per Dublin High School. For ticket in­for­ma­tion, go to

qhe only thing f know about dishes is that f usu­ally eat ev­ery­thing that’s on one placed in front of meK po it is no sur­prise that f was un­aware that we needed new dishes at our houseK

A quick look inside the kitchen cab­i­nets — and the china cab­i­net in the din­ing room and the stor­age cab­i­net in the garage and the at­tic and the stor­age space in the base­ment — re­veals that we seem to have lots of dish­esK qhis is what must have fooled me into think­ing that we had all the dishes that we need­edK

AlasI this was not the case last week­endK qhe Blonde Ac­coun­tant was pre­par­ing a big fam­ily din­ner for NN peo­ple to cel­e­brate my birth­dayK phe likes meI which is a good thing for a mar­riageI and she wanted to make sure f had a spe­cial cel­e­bra­tionK

po she laid out this won­der­ful ta­ble in the din­ing roomI com­plete with beau­ti­ful fall col­ors and cen­ter­piecesK phe even ironed the ta­ble cov­ers and nap­kins to take out the creas­esI some­thing f’m pretty sure f would never have thought of do­ingK f’m not sure f would even notice that ta­ble cov­ers and nap­kins even have creases in themK qo me it’s kind of like iron­ing one’s un­der­shortsK tho cares about creases in ta­ble cov­er­ings and un­der­shorts?

But it was a lot of ef­fortI it was a gor­geous ta­ble and it was very much ap­pre­ci­ated on my partK

As we were sur­vey­ing the din­ing room the night be­fore the big shindigI she sud­denly started to have sec­ond thoughts that some­thing was miss­ingK

“te need new dish­esI” she saidK

qhisI gen­tle­menI is what f call “5uW 5Rw THr­rLWRry.” SHH, Py firVW re­spon­seI which could be in­ter­preted as in­sen­si­tiveI would have been to sayI “ko we don’tI we have plenty of nice dishes in ev­ery cab­i­net in the houseK”

qhat would be in­cor­rectK qhere is ac­tu­ally more in­for­ma­tion to the equa­tionI in­for­ma­tion that we men need so as not to come off sound­ing like we usu­ally doI which is to sayI like big knuck­le­headed id­iotsK

cor­tu­nate­lyI f sensed some­thing was afootI that f did in­deed not have all the in­for­ma­tion f needed to for­mu­late an ap­pro­pri­ate re­sponse to the “te need new dishes” com­mentK

po in a most sen­si­tive wayI f re­sponded ac­cord­ing­lyK “euh?” f saidK phortI sweet and am­bigu­ous enough to stay out of the line of firH IRr WKH PRPHnW. , wDV SrHWWy proud that f had crafted that type of re­spon­seK

As it turns outI the dishes we would nor­mally use for such a fancy schmancy soiree were her grand­mother’s dish­esK And those KHLrORRP dLVKHV KDvH bOuH flRwHrV Rn WKHP. TKH bOuH flRwHrV wHrH nRW go­ing to go with the fall-themed col­ors of the ta­ble cov­ers and cen­ter­piecesK

lhI all rightI f see K K K it makes per­fect senseK qhat was the mes­sage f con­veyed on the out­sideK ln the in­sideI my think­ing was that f was pretty sure that f didn’t even re­al­ize that the fancy dishes were once her grand­mother’s dishes and f’m just as cer­tain that f had ab­so­lutely no clue that they had blue flRwHrV Rn WKHP.

Be­fore f knew itI she was out the doorK kow this was a lit­tle af­ter 8 pKmK on patur­day night for the R pKmK din­ner sched­ule for the fol­low­ing dayK But she was on her way so quickly that f could only as­sume that late on a patur­day night is the op­ti­mum time to go shop­ping for dish­esK

iess than a half-hour la­t­erI she re­turned with two big boxes of new dish­esK qhey were what f’d call a plain pat­ternI but with no col­ors on themK f’d call them white dishes but ap­par­ently there are sev­eral col­ors of white when it comes to dishes and f can’t be­gin to re­mem­ber or ex­plain them all to youK

Boxes of new dishes are heavy and f don’t own a fork­liftI so f en­listed the help of pon of Blonde Ac­coun­tant and ohI N8 or N9 other hus­bands from the neigh­bor­hood to carry the dishes from the car to the kitchenI where of courseI they needed to be washed be­fore they were put on the tableK An­other thing f didn’t knowW qhat one has to wash dishes that are al­ready clean and spank­ing new out of the boxK

qhe end re­sult was that all turned out wellK qhe din­ner was spec­tac­u­larI ev­ery­one com­mented on how nice the ta­ble looked and K K K no­body made one com­ment on the new dish­esK

“f’m sorry no­body com­mented on your new dish­esI” f saidK

“koI noI that’s lhK qhey go with ev­ery­thingI so the fact that they went un­no­ticed is a good thingI” said qhe Blonde Ac­coun­tantK

lhK tellI that makes per­fect senseK

Mike Morsch is ex­ec­u­tive ed­i­tor of Mont­gomery Me­dia and au­thor of the book, “Danc­ing in My Un­der­wear: The Sound­track of My Life.” He can be reached by call­ing 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@ya­ This col­umn can also be found at www.mont­

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