The im­pos­si­ble ex­pec­ta­tions we some­times place on pas­tors’ wives

South Florida Times - - PRAYERFUL LIVING - By Cour­tesy of Blackchris­tian­ 1. “I am ex­pected to at­tend ev­ery func­tion at the church.” One wife told us that church mem­bers re­sent it when she is seen do­ing any­thing out­side the church. 2. “Many church mem­bers ex­pect me to know ev­ery­thing that


The pas­tor’s wife in many churches car­ries heavy bur­dens. Some­times they are im­pos­si­ble ex­pec­ta­tions.

To be fair, this could re­fer to any church staff per­son, male or fe­male, so it could be called min­is­ters’ spouses. For sim­plic­ity, and be­cause I pri­mar­ily hear from this group of peo­ple, I re­fer to them as pas­tors’ wives.

So what are some of these un­fair ex­pec­ta­tions? Here are the top 10 ex­pec­ta­tions im­posed upon these ladies.

In other words, they should know ev­ery­thing their pas­tor/hus­band knows. So her church has sev­eral mem­bers who are lack­ing in emo­tional in­tel­li­gence.

One wife shared with us that she re­ceived eleven mes­sages to give to her hus­band after a spe­cific wor­ship ser­vice.

Some are ex­pected to lead mu­sic or play piano. Oth­ers are ex­pected to act in a spe­cific min­istry em­ployee role such as stu­dent or chil­dren’s direc­tor.

One wife ex­plained that she and her hus­band were new to a church when a church mem­ber con­fronted them about their mis­be­hav­ing chil­dren. Their out­landish sin was run­ning in the church after a wor­ship ser­vice.

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