Sun Sentinel Broward Edition

Fam­ily still re­fuses to ac­cept boyfriend

- Amy Dickinson Write to Ask Amy, Chicago Tri­bune, TT500, 435 N. Michi­gan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

Dear Amy: I have been dat­ing my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Things are go­ing well, ex­cept for one ma­jor is­sue: my friends and fam­ily don’t take him se­ri­ously.

My friends act like he’s not “good enough” for me , and my fam­ily treats him like some high school fling (he and I are both 30). I’ve tried di­rectly ask­ing them to try build­ing a bet­ter re­la­tion­ship, since this is some­one I’m con­sid­er­ing mar­ry­ing, but they don’t bother.

If my friends or fam­ily were to bring se­ri­ous con­cerns about my boyfriend to me, I would lis­ten. They haven’t. In­stead, they just treat my re­la­tion­ship like a joke.

I re­ally want to find out what their ob­jec­tions are, or, bet­ter yet, to help them see how won­der­ful my boyfriend is.

Do you have sug­ges­tions for me? — Trou­bled

Dear Trou­bled: Some of the bur­den for prov­ing how won­der­ful your boyfriend is should be borne by your boyfriend. Is he step­ping up and en­gag­ing in th­ese re­la­tion­ships?

You should ex­am­ine your own re­la­tion­ship his­tory to see if you have con­di­tioned peo­ple close to you not to take you se­ri­ously. If you are a 30-year-old adult on the road to mar­riage, then you will have to stiffen your spine. Pay at­ten­tion to spe­cific feed­back, but also in­sist on tol­er­ance and re­spect to­ward your part­ner.

Dear Amy: You ad­vised a woman not to tell her friend that the woman’s hus­band had vis­ited a strip club! This wife de­serves to know about his gross in­fi­deli­ties. I hope “Fu­ri­ous” will ig­nore your an­swer and tell the wife with­out de­lay. — Dis­ap­pointed

Dear Dis­ap­pointed: All of the in­for­ma­tion was sec­ond hand. I hope “Fu­ri­ous” stays out of it.

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