Jimmy Kimmel Live

On Sunday, Donald Trump turned 74. Seventy-four years ago, Rosemary had a baby. And that little baby grew into a bigger baby. And now that big, old baby is our president.

Johnson & Johnson announced via Instagram their plan to help heal our nation’s wounds — a line of racially inclusive Band-Aids. Good for Band-Aids for finally opening things up beyond the shade they’ve been using for a hundred years, a color known internally as “Ed Sheeran’s Neck.”

I’ll be honest, I almost forgot about the impeachment trial. At this point, that feels like a Hulu show I was really into and then hated the ending of.

Remember when Trump was pushing hydroxychloroquine as a coronavirus miracle drug? Well, the FDA this week withdrew their support for it, and now the government is stuck with 66 million useless doses. So I guess we know what the Trumps will be giving trick or treaters for Halloween for the next 30 years.