Good Ol’ Boys make us proud

The Beaufort Gazette (Sunday) - - Opinion -

We have proudly re­elected the same Good Ol’ Boys to lo­cal, state and fed­eral of­fice for decades, and it should make us proud.

The Good Ol’ Boys have al­lowed us to achieve their lofty goals of keep­ing them, and their fam­i­lies, in of­fice and on the pub­lic dole.

Why, the Good Ol’ Boys have worked so hard that we are now:

Ranked 48th in ed­u­ca­tion. Yes, we started at the bot­tom, and thanks to the Good Ol’ Boys we keep re-elect­ing, we have stayed at the bot­tom. As long as they tell us how well-off we are, we’ll go along, smile and con­vince our­selves how good we’ve got it, ’cause the Good Ol’ Boys say so.

Ranked 41st in health care. The Good Ol’ Boys, in many cases, get life­time care for them­selves and their fam­i­lies. The peo­ple they rep­re­sent don’t; it must not be im­por­tant.

Ranked 41st in crime and cor­rec­tions. The Good Ol’ Boys make sure who goes to prison and who does not. Steal mil­lions on nu­clear projects and let the rubes pay. Smoke a joint and do hard time.

Ranked 45th in house­hold in­come. The Good Ol’ Boys are not in the lower rank­ing of in­come af­ter serv­ing even one term.

Ranked 42nd over­all. Con­grat­u­la­tions to all the Good Ol’ Boys. Af­ter decades in of­fice, you have brought us the re­wards we so richly de­serve. At least you and your fam­i­lies have been re­warded and, as we all know, you de­serve it ’cause you’re Good Ol’ Boys.

– Steve Ger­hart Bluffton

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