Good Ol’ Boys make us proud
We have proudly reelected the same Good Ol’ Boys to local, state and federal office for decades, and it should make us proud.
The Good Ol’ Boys have allowed us to achieve their lofty goals of keeping them, and their families, in office and on the public dole.
Why, the Good Ol’ Boys have worked so hard that we are now:
Ranked 48th in education. Yes, we started at the bottom, and thanks to the Good Ol’ Boys we keep re-electing, we have stayed at the bottom. As long as they tell us how well-off we are, we’ll go along, smile and convince ourselves how good we’ve got it, ’cause the Good Ol’ Boys say so.
Ranked 41st in health care. The Good Ol’ Boys, in many cases, get lifetime care for themselves and their families. The people they represent don’t; it must not be important.
Ranked 41st in crime and corrections. The Good Ol’ Boys make sure who goes to prison and who does not. Steal millions on nuclear projects and let the rubes pay. Smoke a joint and do hard time.
Ranked 45th in household income. The Good Ol’ Boys are not in the lower ranking of income after serving even one term.
Ranked 42nd overall. Congratulations to all the Good Ol’ Boys. After decades in office, you have brought us the rewards we so richly deserve. At least you and your families have been rewarded and, as we all know, you deserve it ’cause you’re Good Ol’ Boys.
– Steve Gerhart Bluffton