Mother needs to real­ize wed­ding isn’t her show

The Columbus Dispatch - - Front Page - — Sad News in Cal­i­for­nia Silent Pain — Write to Dear Abby at Uni­ver­sal Press Syn­di­cate, in care of The Colum­bus Dis­patch, P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069; for a re­ply, en­close a self­ad­dressed, stamped en­ve­lope. Or visit

your fi­ance should do. How­ever, if you do de­cide to go through with the wed­ding, the two of you should agree there will be no fur­ther dis­cus­sion about weight — hers or yours.

Dear Abby: I came into work on a re­cent Mon­day morn­ing to the news that one of my co-work­ers had passed away the day be­fore from a mas­sive heart at­tack. I was shocked and sad­dened. I was also ap­palled that my em­ployer posted her death on Face­book less than 24 hours later.

I don’t think it was my em­ployer’s re­spon­si­bil­ity to no­tify the world. Are there any rules of eti­quette re­gard­ing this?

Dear Sad News: It is the pre­rog­a­tive of fam­ily mem­bers to post this kind of news. Ide­ally, your em­ployer should have waited an ex­tra day or two to al­low the fam­ily to get the word out. How­ever, un­less a fam­ily mem­ber com­plained to you about your em­ployer’s ac­tions, you shouldn’t be so quick to judge.

That he/she shared it on so­cial me­dia isn’t sur­pris­ing these days, nor was it a breach of eti­quette.

Dear Abby: I have been with my boyfriend nearly 19 years, and we both agree that we don’t want mar­riage. Now, I just found out that for the past nine months, he has been see­ing some­one else over lunch. He says he loves me, but he loves her, too.

He is will­ing to stop the af­fair, but he won’t stop tex­ting and see­ing her “as a friend.”

Should I trust what he is telling me?

Dear Silent: Should you trust that he won’t re­sume the af­fair with his “friend” — or that he has stopped it? I don’t think so. You must de­cide whether you want to be part of a “three­some,” and for that, you have my sym­pa­thy.

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