Bush? Any re­la­tion to Hugh Hefner?

The Covington News - - OPINION -

There was a guy I used to work with who would do the most odd thing when he met peo­ple.

He would ask: “ What’s your name?” ( Not the odd part) For this ex­am­ple, we’ll say the per­son an­swered, “ Don­ald An­der­son.”

“An­der­son, huh?,” my col­league would re­spond. “Any re­la­tion to Loni An­der­son?”

The per­son would look per­plexed, then say “ no.”

“ Well, I bet you wish you were,” this guy would say with a creepy, in­ces­tual wink.

Didn’t mat­ter whom he was meet­ing, he would find a last name of some­one fa­mous and of­ten ob­scurely fa­mous to ask if they were re­lated to.

“ So, your last name is Smith? Any re­la­tion to Rex Smith, the star of ‘ Street Hawk?’”

“ Your last name is Stal­lone? Any re­la­tion to the singer Frank Stal­lone?”

“ Hmm, your last name is Hatch­ett? Any re­la­tion to Molly per chance?”

It drove me bonkers.

Most folks have some­one in their ge­neal­ogy that is fa­mous, or in­fa­mous. And if we don’t have any­one of note in our lin­eage,

we make it up.

Most folks have some­one in their ge­neal­ogy that is fa­mous, or in­fa­mous. And if we don’t have any­one of note in our lin­eage, we make it up.

For the record, my fa­mous rel­a­tives are for­mer Vice Pres­i­dent John C. Cal­houn and for­mer Supreme Court Jus­tice Ben­jamin Rob­bins Cur­tis. You can tell I’m not fib­bing be­cause you prob­a­bly haven’t heard of them. I have claimed to be re­lated to for­mer Pres­i­dent Lyn­don Baines John­son, coun­try singer Marty Rob­bins, and ac­tor Carl Weathers, al­though I have no proof of kin to any of the three.

Why do I men­tion my fa­mous kin­folk? I don’t know. I failed to men­tion the guy re­lated to me that was the weight- guesser at the car­ni­val or the dis­tant cousin who col­lected mas­sive amounts of Play- Doh, then ate it all.

We all have fa­mous rel­a­tives we may just not know it.

For in­stance, re­cently, it was re­vealed that cur­rent Vice- Pres­i­dent Dick Cheney and pres­i­den­tial can­di­date, Sen­a­tor Barack Obama, are dis­tant cousins.

Ac­cord­ing to re­search by An­ces­try. com, re­ported on CBS News, Cheney is also Pres­i­dent Ge­orge W. Bush’s ninth cousin once re­moved. Obama is also Bush’s 11th cousin, and they are both re­lated to ac­tor Brad Pitt.

John Kerry, who ran for pres­i­dent against Bush in 2004, is W’s ninth cousin, and Princess Diana was Bush’s 11th cousin, twice re­moved ( what­ever that means).

Other Bush dis­tant rel­a­tives, ac­cord­ing to the story, are Mar­i­lyn Mon­roe, Abra­ham Lin­coln, Hugh Hefner, Poc­a­hon­tas, Madonna, Ce­line Dion, and Tom Hanks.

That fam­ily re­union must be a hoot, and lightly at­tended, since Princess Diana, Mar­i­lyn Mon­roe, Abra­ham Lin­coln and Poc­a­hon­tas are all dead, and Cheney is as well — legally.

“ Rob­bins... any re­la­tion to au­thor Harold Rob­bins?” “ No,” I said. But, if Ge­orge W. Bush can be re­lated to Hugh Hefner — why not?

Len Rob­bins

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