Thank you Gov. Blago­jovich

The Covington News - - Local news -

As a son of the South, I’m the first to ad­mit we’ve had some gov­er­nors who didn’t make us look too good in the eyes of the rest of the na­tion and, for that mat­ter, the world.

That’s why on be­half of de­voted South­ern­ers ev­ery­where, I of­fer my sin­cere thanks to Gov. Rod Blago­jovich for mak­ing some of our black sheep look like choir­boys.

In case you’ve missed it, they ar­rested the Illi­nois gov­er­nor on Tues­day and charged him with putting the Se­nate seat of Pres­i­den­t­elect Barack Obama up for sale to the high­est bid­der.

The peo­ple of Illi­nois have elected this guy, not once, but twice to be their chief ex­ec­u­tive. The fed­eral gov­ern­ment al­ready had him un­der in­ves­ti­ga­tion for other stuff.

I’m not a grad­u­ate of the FBI academy or even one of those se­cu­rity schools that they ad­ver­tise on TV in the mid­dle of the night, but if the fed­eral gov­ern­ment has its eye on you, some­one might be lis­ten­ing in on your tele­phones. Guess what? They were. “ I’ve got this thing and it’s [ ex­ple­tive] golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giv­ing it up for [ ex­ple­tive] noth­ing. I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can al­ways use it. I can para­chute me there,” said Blago­jovich in a tapped phone call, ac­cord­ing to the af­fi­davit re­leased by the U. S. At­tor­ney in Chicago.

The thing he’s talk­ing about is the Se­nate seat and ac­cord­ing to the ar­rest pa­pers, it was for sale.

If this had hap­pened in May­berry, Bar­ney Fife, without as­sis­tance of Andy, could have wrapped up the whole thing

If this took place on Se­same Street, Elmo could have solved it with enough time left over to learn the en­tire al­pha­bet and num­bers 1 through 10.

I thank you Gov. Blago­jovich on be­half of the late Eu­gene Tal­madge, who was gov­er­nor of our state on more than one oc­ca­sion.

When Ol’ Gene was com­mis­sioner of agri­cul­ture, he lost $ 11,000 of state money on a hog deal. Your Chicago boys said Ge­or­gia hogs weren’t worth as much as the Mid­west ones be­cause they were fat­tened up on peanuts, in­stead of corn.

Gene spent $ 80,000 in state money buy­ing up 82 train car­loads of Ge­or­gia hogs and send­ing them to the North­east. He didn’t get the price he had hoped for and took a $ 11,000 loss.

The leg­is­la­ture tried to ac­cuse Gene of steal­ing.

Gene Tal­madge, who was a fiery or­a­tor known for wear­ing red gal­luses, took his case to the peo­ple.

“ Yes I stole,” cried Gene. “ But I stole for you.”

The peo­ple must have bought the story be­cause they turned around and elected him gov­er­nor.

You just made guys like Gene Tal­madge of Ge­or­gia, Huey “ King­fish” Long of Louisiana, and Theodore “ The Man” Bilbo of Mis­sis­sippi look like a trio of mere mor­tals await­ing their rise to saint­hood.

“ The poor old dirt farmer ain’t got but three friends on this earth: God Almighty, Sears Roe­buck and Gene Tal­madge,” Gene used to say on the stump.

He also said, “ I may sur­prise you, but I’ll never de­ceive you.”

Too bad the Illi­nois gov­er­nor didn’t hear about that last one ear­lier and take it to heart.

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