is just before Christmas, and here in my house
I’m scolding my kids, and nagging my spouse.
For we’re all out of time, with no time to spare,
They’re driving me crazy, I’m pulling my hair.
Still so much to do, but where should I start?
For creating a great Christmas is a magical art,
One that I love and adore every minute,
But when I procrastinate, my heart is not in it.
I still need to gift-wrap, I still need to buy
A present for Donnie, my most wonderful guy.
I need stocking stuffers, a full ton of candy
To stuff the kids’ stockings all fat and dandy.
I still need to clean, to dust and to sweep,
To scour and scrub and oh yeah — to sleep.
But sleep is for sissies and there’s no time for that.
I’ll have to sleep vicariously through Max, my cat.
There are calendars to scrapbook, photos to trim
Cropping my belly to make me look slim,
Ornaments to paint, and beaded pins to do
So we’ll have enough gifts for Mom, Dad and Lou.
I’ve been stuck in the kitchen, cooking and baking
All the sweet goodies this December I’m making:
Fudge, haystacks, toffee and shortbread,
Mint bark and cookies as big as your head.
At least that’s accomplished, the sweet treats are done
And making them was mostly a time of great fun.
‘Til I burned the chocolate and filled the house with smoke,
The four of us coughed and gagged and choked.
We stumbled outside for a breath of fresh air
Looking like clowns as we were standing there
Among all the décor, the snow globes, the lights
The Santas, elves, snowmen—our house is a sight.
Inside, there’s the tree, and
So the village was ransacked, but we fixed it back up And banned from that room all kittens and pups.
But later that day came a cruel season’s trick -
Both of my boys suddenly became sick.
On Tylenol! On Motrin! On cough drops and Tums!
Here’s to long nights, to sneezes and tired, sore bums!
I tucked them with blankets, hot foreheads I kissed
And offered condolences for the parties they missed.
But this week, they will get to make up for that
With four different parties in just four days flat.
First we’ll have friends over to make gingerbread,
Then to the Allens, the Apteds, and back home for our spread.
And on Friday morning, after Christmas is done
I’ll wake up quite early for my favorite fun.
I’ll be there at Target when they open at seven,
And fill up my cart with halfpriced heaven.
Then I’ll come back home, kick off my shoes,
Slip into my jammies for I’ll have paid my dues.
And I might just crawl back to my flannel-sheet bed
And start resting up for the long winter ahead.
Before I go, one last thing I must say
As we rush ever closer to the holiday—
Merry Christmas to all, draw your loved ones near.
May God bless you and give you a Happy New Year.