Lost in tran­si­tion

The Covington News - - Opinion - Dick Yar­brough Colum­nist

There are quite a few lob­by­ists on the Deal tran­si­tion team, but that should not be a cause for con­cern. Lob­by­ists serve a use­ful role in the po­lit­i­cal process just as dung bee­tles have an im­por­tant func­tion in our

ecosys­tem.

Rats. It looks as though I have not been se­lected to be a mem­ber of Gov.elect Nathan Deal’s tran­si­tion team.

Frankly, this is get­ting old. I am told that both Roy Barnes and Ge­orge E. Per­due didn’t pick me when form­ing their ad­min­is­tra­tions be­cause they both thought my ad­vice wasn’t worth a jar of warm spit. That may be the only thing the two agreed on.

I note with in­ter­est that for­mer State Rep. Chip Pearson, of Daw­sonville, is a mem­ber of the Deal tran­si­tion team. Pearson, along with Se­nate Ma­jor­ity Leader Chip Rogers ( R-Wood­stock) fought hard last ses­sion for a bill to keep some­body — I’m not quite sure who — from be­ing able to place mi­crochips on our body parts with­out our per­mis­sion. Their good works will en­sure that when I have to go to the potty ev­ery­body on Mars won’t know about it.

Since our Am­bas­sador to Outer Space Cyn­thia McKin­ney is cur­rently va­ca­tion­ing on Pluto, Mr. Pearson seemed the most log­i­cal per­son to rep­re­sent our ex­trater­res­trial in­ter­ests in Ge­or­gia.

I was sur­prised that there are no His­pan- ics on the team, which means there is no one to rep­re­sent all the peo­ple who sneak into the state and at­tend our schools, birth their ba­bies in our hos­pi­tals, don’t vote and want us to learn to speak Span­ish, in­stead of their learn­ing to speak English. Based on the num­ber of apoplec­tic apol­o­gists who raise in­fierno with me ev­ery time I men­tion the sub­ject, there are plenty of par­ti­sanos from which to choose. (I feel sure this com­ment alone will get me more than enough can­di­dates to pass along to the tran­si­tion team.)

Dr. Gil Wat­son, the World’s Great­est Preacher, was also over­looked. Maybe Nathan Deal be­lieves he can make it rain in Ge­or­gia when­ever he wants. Gov­er­nors tend to think that way. But Gov. Ge­orge E. Per­due dis­cov­ered first-hand he couldn’t make it rain a drop and had to call on Dr. Gil to do the job. We all know what hap­pened then. Even athe­ists were mildewed when he got through pray­ing. God likes Dr. Gil very much and is more apt to lis­ten to him than to a politician. God isn’t crazy about politi­cians. Or athe­ists.

F. Duane Ack­er­man, the for­mer CEO of the for­mer Bell­South Cor­po­ra­tion, isn’t on the team, ei­ther. For­mer At­lanta Mayor Bill Camp­bell once told me that Ack­er­man was one of the few busi­ness peo­ple he lis­tened to. When I said pub­licly that Hiz­zoner didn’t lis­ten to any­body and was a dis­as­ter in the mak­ing, Mr. Ack­er­man said pub­licly I was full of doo-doo. Mayor Camp­bell later ended up iron­ing shirts in a fed­eral pokey af­ter be­ing con­victed of tax evasion. Mr. Ack­er­man ended up los­ing my alma mater Bell­South to the “new” AT&T, which I thought was doo-doo. If Gov.-elect Deal wants to know how much starch to put in his shirts be­fore iron­ing, I would strongly rec­om­mend Mayor Camp­bell’s prin­ci­pal ad­vi­sor, F. Duane Ack­er­man.

While the new ad­min­is­tra­tion has said all the right things about pro­mot­ing small busi­ness in Ge­or­gia, they missed a great op­por­tu­nity to get the in­put of Skeeter Skates, owner of Skeeter’s Tree Stump Re­moval and Plow Re­pair in Greater Metropoli­tan Pooler. In ret­ro­spect, that may not have been a bad move on the tran­si­tion team’s part. Skeeter is prone to say what­ever is on his mind. He has told me on sev­eral oc­ca­sions that the dullest plow blade he ever saw was sharper than any politician he ever met. I don’t think the gover­nor-elect’s ad­vi­sors would ap­pre­ci­ate Skeeter’s can­dor.

There are quite a few lob­by­ists on the Deal tran­si­tion team, but that should not be a cause for con­cern. Lob­by­ists serve a use­ful role in the po­lit­i­cal process just as dung bee­tles have an im­por­tant func­tion in our ecosys­tem. There are re­mark­able sim­i­lar­i­ties be­tween lob­by­ists and dung bee­tles with the no­table ex­cep­tion that lob­by­ists dress bet­ter than dung bee­tles. Dung bee­tles, how­ever, dress bet­ter than the Capi­tol press corps, so it all evens out.

Even though I didn’t get asked to be a part of the tran­si­tion team, I have no doubt Gov. Deal will be seek­ing me out for my views on im­por­tant mat­ters of state when the go­ing gets tough. I just hope he doesn’t ask me how much starch to put in his shirts. There are some things even I don’t know.

Reach Dick Yar­brough at yarb2400@bell­south. net or P.O. Box 725373, At­lanta, GA 31139.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.