Look­ing back and for­ward (to a cat­fish din­ner)

The Covington News - - SPORTS -

Week 1 of South­east­ern Con­fer­ence foot­ball is in the books. I'm not sure what ac­tual books Week 1 is in, but I'm con­fi­dent that the games played last week are, in fact, in some books some­where. If you find the books, please let me know. I'd like to take a gan­der at them.

Let's look back at the week that was and ahead to Week 2, SEC Ban­ter style.

Ge­or­gia Run­ning Backs On My Mind: Good grief, did you see those Jaw­gia run­ning backs tote the rock on Satur­day? Todd Gur­ley ce­mented his sta­tus as col­lege foot­ball's best player and lead­ing Heis­man Trophy con­tender. Then you've got the thun­der-and-light­ning pack­age of fresh­men Nick Chubb, whom I would not at­tempt to tackle for $25,000, and Sony Michel, the young speed­ster from Florida.

The SEC home of­fice may have to se­ri­ously con­sider al­low­ing op­pos­ing de­fenses to line up against Ge­or­gia with 22 play­ers just to keep things fair.

Texas A&M Em­bar­rasses the Old Ball Coach: The only peo­ple more up­set than Steve Spurrier after Texas A&M's beat­down of Sak­er­lina are Cleve­land Brown ex­ecs, who now must won­der whether Johnny Foot­ball is noth­ing more than a prod­uct of Kevin Sum­lin's sys­tem. Them and all SEC West teams, who were hop­ing A&M's post-Johnny hang­over would last an en­tire sea­son.

We'll find out if the Ag­gies are that good or the Gamecocks' D is that bad next week when Ge­or­gia trav­els to Columbia.

Bama Looks Un-Bama-Like: The No. 2 team in the land looked un-Bama-like and es­pe­cially un-Sa­ban-like in its 33-23 win over West Vir­ginia. West Vir­ginia almost caught Alabama at low tide but played too much like West Vir­ginia to pull off the up­set.

Bama has plenty of time to fine tune things be­fore its first real game of the sea­son at LSU on Novem­ber 8.

Les Miles Achieves the Im­pos­si­ble: No, I don't mean another Leslie Ed­win Miles 4th-quar­ter come­back. That's rou­tine for the Mad Hat­ter. The guy has a win­ning record when his team en­ters the fourth quar­ter los­ing!

I'm talk­ing about LSU be­ing pe­nal­ized for de­lay of game on the sec­ond half open­ing kick­off. I did not know this was even pos­si­ble. Don't the refs just hand the ball to the kick­ing team and the sec­ond half starts when toe meets leather?

Not with Miles. Penalty. De­lay of game. Be­fore the

sec­ond half started.

Florida Re­mains Un­de­feated: If the col­lege foot­ball weather gods con­spire to post­pone ev­ery Florida game this year, the Ga­tors would be un­de­feated. And if they're un­de­feated, I hon­estly don't think there's any chance Will Muschamp gets canned in that sit­u­a­tion.

Look­ing ahead to Week 2, as ex­cit­ing as Week 1 was (any­one find those books yet?), Week 2 prom­ises, un­for­tu­nately, to be a to­tal dud.

The only league game is No. 18 Ole Miss at Van­der­bilt. Vandy an­chored it­self down to rock bot­tom in a 30-point loss to Tem­ple last week. In other words, this matchup is a snoozer.

The fol­low­ing out-of-con­fer­ence teams play SEC progams this Satur­day: Arkansas State, Toledo, Florida At­lantic, UAB, Ohio, East­ern Michi­gan, Ni­cholls State, East­ern Carolina, San Jose State, La­mar, and Sam Hous­ton State.

It's not worth men­tion­ing which SEC schools play th­ese teams be­cause, as the an­cient Chi­nese proverb from Con­fu­cius teaches us, WHO CARES?

If a team has a di­rec­tion in its name — east­ern, western, outer gal- axy — it's a snoozer. If a team has the word "state" in its name with­out one of the 50 United States pre­ced­ing it, it's a snoozer.

Ex­am­ple: Mis­sis­sippi State, good. Ni­cholls State, snoozer. Michi­gan State, good. A rather ob­scure his­tor­i­cal fig­ure ( hello, Sam Hous­ton) State, snoozer.

SEC Ban­ter has some ad­vice for you fel­lows out there. Tell your wife/ girl­friend that this Satur­day is the best col­lege foot­ball day of the sea- son. Sure, she put up with you watch­ing 12 straight hours of foot­ball last Satur­day or start­ing your tail­gate at 7 a.m. for a 5: 30 p. m. kick­off, but she'll like where you're go­ing with this.

Tell her you'd rather spend time with her than watch more col­lege foot­ball. Do some chores around the house. Change that light bulb over the garage that's been out since De­cem­ber. Run some Satur­day er­rands. Take her to Cap­tain D's for a lit­tle cat­fish din­ner.

Of course, you couldn't pull it off. Maybe the Cap­tain D's part, but not the rest.

Women raised in Dixie are raised on SEC foot­ball. They know the sched­ule up, down and side­ways, and we can't con­vince them this Satur­day is worth a darn. Plus, nowa­days they've got those "smart phones" what with the " world wide web" and what­not, and they can ac­cess in­for­ma­tion in­stan­ta­neously. Scary, re­ally.

Speak­ing of Cap­tain D's, I'm hun­gry. Cap­tain D's site on the world wide web (also known as the " In­ter­net") says its restau­rants have " a coastal am­biance and wel­com­ing at­mos­phere that trans­port you to your fa­vorite beach­side des­ti­na­tion as soon as you walk through our doors."

Sure sounds bet­ter than La­mar at Texas A&M!

Ben Prevost

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