Hus­band with sleepy wife wants mar­riage to wake up

The Daily Herald - - GOOD LIFE -

Dear Abby: I have been mar­ried to my soul mate for 25 years. We get along great — she’s my best friend and a good mother to our three kids. (She takes care of my mom who lives with us, too.) The only prob­lem is, she loves to sleep.

She will do any­thing for us ex­cept wake up a few hours early without be­ing mad at the world. She gets our kids off to school with no prob­lem, but then re­turns to bed. I run a small con­struc­tion com­pany and need some­one to an­swer the phones and do sec­re­tary stuff. Our books are a mess, the house is de­cent, but she won’t let me hire a part-time sec­re­tary.

She gets up at noon and spends the rest of the day “catch­ing up.” It’s driv­ing a wedge in our mar­riage. My friends and their wives do things to­gether on week­ends, but not mine. She sleeps un­til 2 or 3 p.m. on the week­ends.

I work a lot of Satur­days, and when I go to cus­tomers’ homes and see the wife out­side gar­den­ing, it breaks my heart. I have threat­ened to leave, and she works on it for a cou­ple days and then falls back into the same old habits. Help! — Hurt­ing Hus­band in Cal­i­for­nia

Dear Hus­band: Not ev­ery­one re­quires the same amount of sleep in or­der to func­tion. Some folks may be fine with five hours, but others need eight, nine or even 10. If your wife needs more than that, there may be an un­der­ly­ing prob­lem of some kind that she should dis­cuss with her doc­tor.

In mar­riage there needs to be com­pro­mise. If you are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing stress be­cause you don’t have enough help in your busi­ness, then you need to hire some­one be­cause your wife is al­ready do­ing all she can tak­ing care of three kids and your DEAR ABBY

mother. And you shouldn’t need her per­mis­sion.

Dear Abby: At a pool party re­cently, I com­pli­mented an­other wo­man on her “good fig­ure” (she was wear­ing a bikini and looked great in it), but I was told later by a dif­fer­ent wo­man who had been there how “hurt­ful” my com­pli­ment had been to ev­ery­one else present be­cause I com­pli­mented only the bikini-wear­ing wo­man. I felt co­erced into apol­o­giz­ing to the sec­ond wo­man for not of­fer­ing a com­pli­ment of some kind to ev­ery­one else at the party — which seems ar­ti­fi­cial and un­nec­es­sary (ac­tu­ally stupid) to me.

The wo­man look­ing for the apol­ogy left me feel­ing steamed, and now I’m think­ing that maybe I apol­o­gized for some­thing I didn’t need to. Is it true that you shouldn’t com­pli­ment one per­son if you can’t man­age to do the same for ev­ery­one else present? — Pool Party Com­pli­ment

Dear P.P.C.: No, it’s not. I have never heard of that rule of eti­quette. Fol­low­ing her logic, you would be com­pelled to com­pli­ment ev­ery male if you told one that the shirt he was wear­ing was nice. I sus­pect the wo­man was less hurt than jeal­ous, and I doubt the other women at the pool party were pay­ing much at­ten­tion to what you said.

Univer­sal Uclick

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