Unhappy man jumps from frying pan into the fire

DEAR ABBY: I went through an ugly divorce. My second wife, “Marci,” is a liar, a cheat and a thief. She claims she’s religious, but she gambles. She opens bank accounts that I’m not aware of. She tries to justify what she has done, but she calls constantly if I leave the house. She claims she’s jealous. I think it’s more of a control issue, and I leave for peace of mind.

Recently, her relatives asked for a private meeting to discuss her behavior and shared what I feared. Afterward, I called her supposed ex-husband and he told me they are still married. When I asked Marci to show me her divorce papers, she refused. I have talked with my pastor and attorney. They said give her six weeks and then move on. What do you suggest?

— TAKEN FOR A FOOL IN ALABAMA

DEAR TAKEN: Listen to these two unbiased advisers! Secure any property or information Marci might use to take further advantage of you, and take comfort in the fact that because you are not legally married, you are not responsible for any debts she has or will run up. Understand that Marci is a con artist, and please do exactly what your pastor and your attorney have instructed. If she keeps calling, block her or change your phone number. And if she stalks you — and she may — talk to the police.

DEAR ABBY: “Lila,” a friend from my high school days I hadn’t seen for years, called me out of the blue and said her mom wanted to see me again. Her mother and I had been friends for years. “Mom” was a special lady, and I always admired her, so I agreed.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I greeted them and we engaged in a little conversation. When I went to order, Lila pulled out a sales book she was selling items out of. Because I didn’t want to disappoint her mother, I looked at each item. The only thing I could afford was an umbrella for $29. I already had a $5 one at home (my budget).

Abby, I felt used and insulted. Lila’s only goal was selling me something — not reuniting me with her mother. Lila is better off financially than I am. She owns her own home and drives a brand-new SUV. My car was bought used for $2,000.

How do I tolerate a person like her? She wants all she can get, even if it means using an old friend. By the way, she was decked out in her fashionable finest and ordered the cheapest thing on the menu.

— SAD FRIEND ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR SAD FRIEND: You do not have to tolerate a person like Lila, and you should not feel pressured to buy something from anyone that you don’t want or need. If Lila calls again, inform her that you are not interested in anything she is selling and end the call.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve gotten into wearing swim trunks in the summer as normal attire. They’re good for the hot streets, and no one has said anything. I pair them with a white T-shirt or no shirt. I plan to do it again this summer. What do you think?

— COOL DUDE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DUDE: If you’re in great shape and the neighbors aren’t scandalized, then what I think doesn’t matter. (Swim) suit yourself.

I will, however, offer this: A wise woman once advised me to always look my best when I went out because invariably, if I didn’t, I’d encounter someone I wished I looked better for and regret that I hadn’t made more effort. And you know what? She was spot on.