Ways inwhich people disconnect from each other
There are so many ways of detaching and disengaging in a relationship that we’re not always conscious of when we are doing it. Here is a list of some of the most common ways people disconnect from each other:
Making your intimate partner a lower priority in your life. If you do this, your partner will feel less important and undervalued.
Not allowing enough quality time together, or not doing many things with each other.
Not paying attention, being distracted, preoccupied or being chronically tired.
Being a poor listener. Frequently interrupting, talking over your partner, or listening for what you can disagree with or argue about.
Having a defensive wall up, so your spouse doesn’t feel you’re receptive to his/ her feelings, requests, hurts or needs.
Not honoring what your partner says matters to him/ her.
Not showing empathy or compassion for his/ her feelings, wants or desires.
Infidelity. For some this includes porn, and it definitely includes sex and sexual flirting.
Being extremely possessive or jealous. This will cause your spouse to pull away from you.
Judging, criticizing or shaming. How are criticisms offered? The difference between saying something in anger/ irritation and saying something from kindness and tact is huge.
Getting abrasive quickly or frequently. It pushes the other person away.
Treating your feelings, needs, irritations, sensitive subjects and requests as far more important than your partner’s.
Withdrawing friendliness and generosity of spirit as soon as you get upset or angry.
No matter whether you are addicted to the Internet, overworking, excessive drinking, TV, porn, food or drugs, all of these will keep your relationship more distant. Incessant complaining. Demeaning or belittling words ( or behaviors). Being rude. Name calling. Being hateful. Taking more than you give. There are ways of changing these behaviors. You could make your relationship a higher priority, carve out more quality time to be together, give your partner your undistracted attention and presence, be a much better listener, control your anger and be less adversarial, be more kind and friendly, add romance and make sure you create ways to have fun together.