Ask Amy

Dear Amy: My hus­band and I are ex­pect­ing our f irst child, and my in-laws are very ex­cited. They are al­ready plan­ning a visit to meet their new grand­child.

The Denver Post - - FEATURES - By Amy Dick­in­son

But the in-laws want to bring their ag­gres­sive dogs, too. The dogs have bit­ten me and oth­ers on many oc­ca­sions.

One is very large and will at­tack any­one that gets too close to her owner. I don’t want these dogs any­where near the baby, but my in-laws are in­sis­tent that if the dogs aren’t wel­come, then they’re not wel­come.

I know my hus­band wants to see his par­ents (who rarely visit be­cause of the dogs). But he is ter­ri­ble about putting his foot down with them, and they com­monly ig­nore my con­cerns. What can I do? — Wor­ried Fu­ture Mom

Dear Wor­ried: Your first duty as a par­ent is to pro­tect your baby. This is a rock-solid par­ent­ing non­nego­tiable. Your baby should not be ex­posed to these ag­gres­sive dogs — in your home or theirs — un­til you are cer­tain that it is safe.

Be­cause your hus­band might not con­vey your point of view in a force­ful enough way, you will need to state to all par­ties: “I won’t de­lib­er­ately ex­pose our baby to ag­gres­sive dogs. If you won’t visit our home with­out the dogs, then I un­der­stand that you’ll stay away. We’ll in­tro­duce you to your grand­child another time.”

Ac­cord­ing to the Cen­ters for Dis­ease Con­trol and Pre­ven­tion, ap­prox­i­mately 4.5 mil­lion dog bites oc­cur each year in the U.S.Chil­dren are the most fre­quently bit­ten. This is a pre­ventable risk.

As a lov­ing and concerned par­ent, keep­ing her safe from ag­gres­sive dogs is part of your job. You must let your in-laws know that though their pri­or­i­ties are their dogs, your pri­or­ity is their grand­child.

Dear Amy: I have a spe­cial woman in my life. We’ve been go­ing out for five months now, but a few nights ago we had a misun­der­stand­ing be­cause she was chat­ting with her ex­girl­friend.

The day af­ter our misun­der­stand­ing I texted her, as usual, to say “Good morning” and “I love you.” She didn’t re­spond.

I knew she was mad at me and she tweeted about it, say­ing that I shouldn’t have con­fronted her the way I did.

I let the day pass with­out con­tact­ing her fur­ther be­cause I knew that she would not re­spond to my texts.

When I opened her ac­count the fol­low­ing day, I saw that I was blocked from her so­cial me­dia ac­counts like Face­book, Twit­ter and In­sta­gram. She even changed her pro­file photo on Twit­ter (we were both us­ing the same pro­file photo).

I tried con­tact­ing her through phone calls and texts but she had al­ready blocked me. I asked my friends to call her, but she also blocked them.

Should I fix this by vis­it­ing her — or should I give up, think­ing that she doesn’t want me any­more? — Shat­tered

Dear Shat­tered: The same tech­nol­ogy that gives you easy con­nec­tion, can also de­liver an ice-cold come­up­pance.

Yes, you could show up at your girl­friend’s home or work and try to force a face-to-face con­fronta­tion, but you should pre­pare for the prob­a­bil­ity that she will also “block” you IRL (in real life).

You haven’t pro­vided any de­tails about your own be­hav­ior, and so hers seems quite out of pro­por­tion. You have to ask your­self: if this is the way she re­acts when you con­front her over be­hav­ior you don’t like, how would she behave to­ward you if the cir­cum­stance was even more se­ri­ous?

You are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing a multi-plat­form re­jec­tion. This is the way your girl­friend has cho­sen to send her mes­sage to you. It’s prob­a­bly time for you to demon­strate that you re­ceived it.

Dear Amy: In re­sponse to “Years of Wine and Roses,” the fam­ily wor­ried about their 85-year-old drink­ing and driv­ing mother, in some states, you can ask the sec­re­tary of state’s of­fice to call an in­di­vid­ual in for a driv­ing test. That might help, if her over­all driv­ing abil­i­ties are at all com­pro­mised, ei­ther through her drink­ing, or sim­ply as a re­sult of her age. — Been There

Dear Been There: The mother’s doc­tor might also in­ter­vene.

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