Time, distance causes fast friends to begin drifting apart
Dear Abby: I’m a girl, 15, and a sophomore in high school. Last year I went to school across the country. While I was there, I became best friends with this girl, “Amelia.” We did everything together, and Amelia even flew back here to visit my family when school ended and I had to go home.
It has now been a few months since I’ve seen her, and so much has changed. She doesn’t make time to text or call me hardly ever, and when she does, it’s always a quick conversation. Because of the time difference and our schedules, I get that it’s difficult, but shouldn’t she make some time for her best friend?
Amelia and I were as close as sisters, and I can’t stand the thought of losing her. I’ve already called her out a few times, and we are good for a few days, but then she goes right back to pretending I don’t exist. I’d rather not call her out again. Any thoughts?
Faraway Friend in Maryland Dear Friend: Rather than “call her out,” it’s time to lighten up. Stop trying to make Amelia feel guilty for not giving you the attention she was able to when you were geographically closer. If there’s one thing I have learned about friendships, it’s that they tend to ebb and flow.
Because you now live apart, concentrate on building other relationships with people close by. This doesn’t mean you can’t remain friendly with Amelia; it simply means you are expecting more from her than she’s able to give you.
Dear Abby: How do I get my roommates to do chores? I have tried talking to them, creating chore charts and explaining we will lose our security deposit if the house isn’t taken care of. Nothing works. If I don’t want sticky counters, ruined pots and pans, or trash piling up, I have to do it myself. Any advice would be appreciated.
Not Your Maid Dear Not Your Maid: Whose name is on that lease? If it isn’t yours, the logical thing to do would be find a place to live with more mature roommates who feel the way you do about clutter and hygiene. However, if it is yours, you will have to wait until the lease is up, get rid of those roommates and screen the next batch more carefully.