Time, dis­tance causes fast friends to be­gin drift­ing apart

The Detroit News - - Weekend -

Dear Abby: I’m a girl, 15, and a sopho­more in high school. Last year I went to school across the coun­try. While I was there, I be­came best friends with this girl, “Amelia.” We did ev­ery­thing to­gether, and Amelia even flew back here to visit my fam­ily when school ended and I had to go home.

It has now been a few months since I’ve seen her, and so much has changed. She doesn’t make time to text or call me hardly ever, and when she does, it’s al­ways a quick con­ver­sa­tion. Be­cause of the time dif­fer­ence and our sched­ules, I get that it’s dif­fi­cult, but shouldn’t she make some time for her best friend?

Amelia and I were as close as sis­ters, and I can’t stand the thought of los­ing her. I’ve al­ready called her out a few times, and we are good for a few days, but then she goes right back to pre­tend­ing I don’t ex­ist. I’d rather not call her out again. Any thoughts?

Far­away Friend in Mary­land Dear Friend: Rather than “call her out,” it’s time to lighten up. Stop try­ing to make Amelia feel guilty for not giv­ing you the at­ten­tion she was able to when you were ge­o­graph­i­cally closer. If there’s one thing I have learned about friend­ships, it’s that they tend to ebb and flow.

Be­cause you now live apart, con­cen­trate on build­ing other re­la­tion­ships with peo­ple close by. This doesn’t mean you can’t re­main friendly with Amelia; it sim­ply means you are ex­pect­ing more from her than she’s able to give you.

Dear Abby: How do I get my room­mates to do chores? I have tried talk­ing to them, cre­at­ing chore charts and ex­plain­ing we will lose our se­cu­rity de­posit if the house isn’t taken care of. Noth­ing works. If I don’t want sticky coun­ters, ru­ined pots and pans, or trash pil­ing up, I have to do it my­self. Any ad­vice would be ap­pre­ci­ated.

Not Your Maid Dear Not Your Maid: Whose name is on that lease? If it isn’t yours, the log­i­cal thing to do would be find a place to live with more ma­ture room­mates who feel the way you do about clut­ter and hy­giene. How­ever, if it is yours, you will have to wait un­til the lease is up, get rid of those room­mates and screen the next batch more care­fully.


Jeanne Phillips

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