Hands-on ap­proach to other women dis­turbs man’s wife

The Garden Island - - Pau Hana Time - JEAN PHILLIPS

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band can­not be around a fe­male with­out putting his hands on her shoul­der or back. He “has” to touch. I’m not jeal­ous, but em­bar­rassed when I see women cringe and the ex­pres­sion on their faces some­times.

I keep hop­ing one of them will con­front him about it. It’s get­ting worse the older he gets, es­pe­cially with younger women.

Do not sug­gest talking to him. He is never wrong and be­comes livid when con­fronted.

He reads your col­umn, so please, Abby, give me some ad­vice. -- TIRED OF BE­ING EM­BAR­RASSED

DEAR TIRED: I as­sume your hus­band does this only with un­ac­com­pa­nied young fe­males, be­cause if he did it with women who had an es­cort, their date or their hus­band would straighten him out. Be­cause you can see the women are un­com­fort­able, talk pri­vately with them and sug­gest they speak up and tell him not to do it again.

DEAR ABBY: I re­cently at­tended a wed­ding af­ter which the bride chose not to adopt her hus­band’s last name. Af­ter the wed­ding we met them for din­ner. When they strolled up to the restau­rant to meet us, I hap­pily ex­claimed, “Oh, here come Mr. and Mrs. Smith!” af­ter which I was quickly in­formed that I was wrong be­cause the bride was keep­ing her maiden name.

Abby, even if a woman goes by her maiden name, is it so wrong to re­fer to her as “the Mrs.”? -- STEPPED IN IT

DEAR STEPPED: Your mis­take was an in­no­cent one. Now that you know this cou­ple is sen­si­tive about their in­di­vid­ual iden­ti­ties, ad­dress them by their names (“Linda” and “Robert”) if you wish to main­tain a so­cial re­la­tion­ship.

DEAR ABBY: A col­league of mine was let go a few days ago and it shocked us all. I imag­ine it was even more shock­ing to her. She seemed to have a good deal of re­spon­si­bil­ity out­side of her nor­mal role, and from what we saw, she was ex­cel­lent at her job.

We weren’t close friends out­side of work, but we would text each other now and again and I con­sider her some­one I would like to keep in touch with. Would it be in­ap­pro­pri­ate to text her and of­fer my con­do­lences? -- ETI­QUETTE AD­VICE IN CAL­I­FOR­NIA

DEAR ETI­QUETTE: You are en­ti­tled to a per­sonal life out­side the of­fice. I don’t think it would be in­ap­pro­pri­ate to reach out to her on your own time. As long as you don’t dis­cuss it at work, it is your busi­ness and no one else’s. ••• To con­tact Abby visit DearAbby.com

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