Dis­cov­ery of preg­nancy tests sur­prises live-in girl­friend

The Garden Island - - Pau Hana Time - JEAN PHILLIPS

DEAR ABBY: I am a les­bian. My girl­friend and I have been dat­ing for six months. We have an awe­some re­la­tion­ship and are very happy and open with each other.

I know she has dated guys in the past — so have I — so I’m not wor­ried about that non­sense at all. But I re­cently found some­thing of hers that sur­prised me. It was a con­tainer of preg­nancy tests, and one was miss­ing with a Plan B pill along­side of it. I am not mad about it be­cause I know stuff hap­pens, but I would rather that it not hap­pen in our apart­ment.

I’m tempted to bring it up, but I would hon­estly rather not dis­cuss it at all. I just don’t want any­thing hap­pen­ing in the apart­ment. Would it be weird if I just threw the stuff out with­out telling her, or should I say some­thing?

What if she wants to keep it? I don’t think that would be the case, but it would start a fight be­cause, as a fe­male cou­ple, we ob­vi­ously don’t need a preg­nancy test. I know I am over­think­ing this, and I could use some ad­vice on how to han­dle this un­com­fort­able sit­u­a­tion. — SUR­PRISED ABOUT IT

DEAR SUR­PRISED: I’m glad you asked. Do NOT “qui­etly” throw out those preg­nancy tests or the med­i­ca­tion. I don’t know what kind of ar­range­ment you have with your live-in girl­friend, but if fi­delity was part of the agree­ment, you should ab­so­lutely talk with her about what you found. It does not have to de- gen­er­ate into a fight, but it’s im­por­tant that you know why she feels the need to be in an in­ti­mate re­la­tion­ship, re­gard­less of gen­der, with some­one else.

DEAR ABBY: My daugh­ter and I are like strangers since my boyfriend got into a heated ar­gu­ment with her. She was al­ways hurt­ing my feel­ings in one way or an­other, and he got tired of see­ing me up­set.

So even though I asked him not to say any­thing, he went against my wishes and went off on her. Since then, he is no longer wel­come in her home, which means if I want to see my grand­child, I must go by my­self, which I have been do­ing for a while now.

I am torn over this sit­u­a­tion and don’t know what to do to fix it. I talked to her about join­ing us for the hol­i­days and she said that if he (my boyfriend of 10 years) is go­ing to be there, then she won’t be. What can I do? Any sug­ges­tions? — FAM­ILY DRAMA IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DRAMA: As a mat­ter of fact, I do have one. Your daugh­ter is at­tempt­ing to ma­nip­u­late you and force you to choose be­tween her and your boyfriend. Don’t fall for it. Con­tinue invit­ing her to events, and if she re­fuses be­cause she doesn’t want to see your boyfriend — who de­fended you when she was abu­sive — tell her you will miss her. ••• To con­tact Abby visit DearAbby.com.

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