Discovery of pregnancy tests surprises live-in girlfriend
DEAR ABBY: I am a lesbian. My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months. We have an awesome relationship and are very happy and open with each other.
I know she has dated guys in the past — so have I — so I’m not worried about that nonsense at all. But I recently found something of hers that surprised me. It was a container of pregnancy tests, and one was missing with a Plan B pill alongside of it. I am not mad about it because I know stuff happens, but I would rather that it not happen in our apartment.
I’m tempted to bring it up, but I would honestly rather not discuss it at all. I just don’t want anything happening in the apartment. Would it be weird if I just threw the stuff out without telling her, or should I say something?
What if she wants to keep it? I don’t think that would be the case, but it would start a fight because, as a female couple, we obviously don’t need a pregnancy test. I know I am overthinking this, and I could use some advice on how to handle this uncomfortable situation. — SURPRISED ABOUT IT
DEAR SURPRISED: I’m glad you asked. Do NOT “quietly” throw out those pregnancy tests or the medication. I don’t know what kind of arrangement you have with your live-in girlfriend, but if fidelity was part of the agreement, you should absolutely talk with her about what you found. It does not have to de- generate into a fight, but it’s important that you know why she feels the need to be in an intimate relationship, regardless of gender, with someone else.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I are like strangers since my boyfriend got into a heated argument with her. She was always hurting my feelings in one way or another, and he got tired of seeing me upset.
So even though I asked him not to say anything, he went against my wishes and went off on her. Since then, he is no longer welcome in her home, which means if I want to see my grandchild, I must go by myself, which I have been doing for a while now.
I am torn over this situation and don’t know what to do to fix it. I talked to her about joining us for the holidays and she said that if he (my boyfriend of 10 years) is going to be there, then she won’t be. What can I do? Any suggestions? — FAMILY DRAMA IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DRAMA: As a matter of fact, I do have one. Your daughter is attempting to manipulate you and force you to choose between her and your boyfriend. Don’t fall for it. Continue inviting her to events, and if she refuses because she doesn’t want to see your boyfriend — who defended you when she was abusive — tell her you will miss her. ••• To contact Abby visit DearAbby.com.