Messy Drunk

The Iowa Review - - FRONT PAGE - Kazim ali

Dizzy he lifts him­self un­hitched from this shape hov­er­ing at the bar Streams out­side into the al­ley sparkling with green glass and hy­acinth

Mixed in an ocean he of blue paint spreads him­self thin on ev­ery sur­face His body opens it­self de­cant­ing on the as­phalt

In­side again he is a ubiq­ui­tous charmer trick­ing the DJ into buy­ing his next round He is a hobo on a mis­sion to see the crack of the sun fil­ter through the dark wall

Day could peel the scab of the night away He’s re­gur­gi­tated to empti­ness but still dry heaves in shud­ders

He is spun then in a dozen dif­fer­ent di­rec­tions at once Wakes up on the other side of town, on the roof of a build­ing he doesn’t know

Keys to my place for­got­ten on some ta­ble do you know who I am what my name is From three in the morn­ing I woke my­self south driv­ing for the bridge

The wheel spin­ning un­der my hands at the sec­ond light I go left I haven’t eaten Crescendo down the sea­son marked by the wa­ter level and new moon I slowly

Lap at all night the groan­ing of sea li­ons or a mi­nor sev­enth chord stretch­ing south From the lake my dis­so­nant life I drive south in the thick mid-au­tumn

My sense­less­ness a lucky bell ring­ing when the doc­tor gave me the pills Said it was in my skin and not my brain the blue light pool­ing in the door­way

And all my un­said prayers con­dens­ing in my mouth

This morn­ing at five I started across the bridge on foot I for­got where I parked

Will I find the lost key, left some­where be­tween the club and the roof In my mind I was hold­ing it but now I think I never had it, that it’s still at home

Good be­cause it’s not lost bad be­cause I’m locked out I don’t want to be lost any­more to pray only for the dead

Re­turn me to the king­dom where I learned to traf­fic in brains and lust I do not want the key to my be­ing to be this long trudge home won­der­ing

Who am I where is my home who will be there to let me in

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