The sub­sti­tute brings out his A game Some ex­pe­ri­ence re­quired

The Iowa Review - - CONTENTS - Bob Hi­cok

Take out a piece of cu­mu­lus and write this down: a cata­ma­ran is a boat made of cats. A cat o’ nine tails is an over­achiever. A re­volver stops a per­son from turn­ing over a new leaf. Dreams are movies you can’t get pro­duced. Live as if you have no egrets, be­cause soon you won’t. Cap­i­tal­ism is an eat­ing dis­or­der. Kiss unto your neigh­bor as you would be kissed in a field of or­ange pop­pies. Treat peo­ple with re­spect and cas­tor oil and chemo when you have to and wear a bald wig to make them laugh when they wake up want­ing to die. Don’t take any wooden nick­els to the bank but keep them, that’s art and art is valu­able, you’ll be taught oth­er­wise but don’t lis­ten un­less it’s Erik Satie or Tom Waits or Fats Waller, then turn it up, all the way to the moon. Lean on peo­ple who have good thighs, and keep your thighs in shape so oth­ers can lean on you and think you’re sexy. When the world gives you lemons, make pineap­ple up­side-down cake while the lemons sit on the counter like suns in train­ing for the big show. Be happy, that’s the main thing you’re go­ing to find hard to do, so have a dance ready to break out on short no­tice, a lit­tle shimmy, a lit­tle Wa­tusi up your sleeve, is the ad­vice of a man who has ceme­tery plots for feet, and yes, I know what that makes me: sad and dif­fi­cult to buy shoes for.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.