TALK­ERS

The Kansas City Star (Sunday) - - NATION WATCH -

A new crime cat­e­gory: a sauce and bat­tery

A 38-year-old man has been charged with beat­ing an­other man at a mo­tel re­cently with an un­likely weapon — a bot­tle of Worces­ter­shire sauce.

Of­fi­cers said that a 43year-old man was re­turn­ing to his room last week, and as he opened the door the sus­pect hit him on the head with condi­ment bot­tle. The sus­pect then grabbed a fire ex­tin­guisher and hit the man in the head and face.

The sus­pect was jailed. The vic­tim was ad­mit­ted to a hospi­tal. He is ex­pected to re­cover. Age is just a num­ber — just like her rap sheet

An 80-yearold woman with a crim­i­nal record stretch­ing to 1955 has been sen­tenced to three years in state prison for ran­sack­ing and steal­ing cash from a South­ern Cal­i­for­nia med­i­cal of­fice.

Doris Thomp­son thanked a judge Wed­nes­day for not send­ing her to Los An­ge­les County jail, which she said she doesn’t like. She also told the judge, “God bless you.”

State records show Thomp­son, who has used 27 aliases, has re­peat­edly been ar­rested in the last 55 years, mainly for petty theft and bur­glary. She has gone to jail sev­eral times.

Thomp­son slipped into the med­i­cal of­fice Dec.19 and stole money from draw­ers. She pleaded guilty to bur­glary and was or­dered to pay about $1,400 in resti­tu­tion. She will be el­i­gi­ble for pa­role in about 18 months. And you thought your mom was em­bar­rass­ing

The mother of a sec­ond-grader got drunk, then ran through the halls at her child’s school wav­ing a sword and looking for a fight, po­lice said. The day be­fore, the woman’s daugh­ter had got­ten into a spit­ting match with an­other girl, au­thor­i­ties said. So the woman, 32, went to the school with the sword — ap­par­ently she wanted a piece of the other child’s par­ents.

Ac­cord­ing to court records, an em­ployee at Riverview Ele­men­tary School in Mem­phis re­ported a drunken woman armed with a sword was run­ning through the halls of the school and had threat­ened to cut her.

Of­fi­cers who ar­rived on the scene re­trieved a black cane that con­cealed the blade.

The woman was charged with ag­gra­vated as­sault and hav­ing a weapon on school prop­erty. Jerry’s fi­nal thought: Stay home next time

A North Carolina man was sen­tenced to three days in jail for vi­o­lat­ing pro­ba­tion by leav­ing the state to ap­pear on “The Jerry Springer Show.”

The Gas­ton Gazette re­ported Thurs­day that Richard Peter­son’s pro­ba­tion of­fi­cer spot­ted him on the TV pro­gram taped in Con­necti­cut. The 30-yearold man and his girl­friend got an all-ex­penses-paid trip to ap­pear on the show, where Peter­son boasted about a one-night stand with a strip­per.

A video clip showed Peter­son run­ning around the stage dodg­ing swings from his girl­friend. The strip­per twirled around a pole. The strip­per and Peter­son’s girl­friend then turned on each other.

Peter­son was on pro­ba­tion for pos­ses­sion of mar­i­juana and re­sist­ing an of­fi­cer. He was in jail on Thurs­day. | Star news ser­vices

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