DEAR ABBY

The Maui News - - TODAY’S PEOPLE -

DEAR

ABBY: My wife and I are ex­pect­ing our first child. A friend of hers pulled me aside to ask if I had al­ready got­ten my wife a “push gift.” I have never heard of this, but ap­par­ently it’s sup­posed to be some­thing nice, like jew­elry, to cel­e­brate the birth.

We have al­ready been spend­ing a lot of ex­tra money to dec­o­rate a nurs­ery. In ad­di­tion, the de­liv­ery will be costly un­der our high-de­ductible health plan. Com­bined with the fact that my wife just re­tired from her teach­ing job, the ex­penses are start­ing to freak me out.

In light of this, what do you think of the idea of a push gift? Have you heard any good ideas for a low-cost but ap­pro­pri­ate al­ter­na­tive?

— Ex­cited Fa­ther-to-be DEAR EX­CITED: A push gift can be a piece of jew­elry, your first “fam­ily va­ca­tion,” a piece of elec­tronic equip­ment for your wife or a piece of fur­ni­ture for the nurs­ery. Some cou­ples pre­fer some­thing less ma­te­ri­al­is­tic, such as help with baby care or money for the child’s ed­u­ca­tion.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old man. I have worked at my cur­rent job for two years and love it, even though I earn only two-thirds what I did at my prior po­si­tion.

My prob­lem is, I think I’m in love with my boss. She’s an amaz­ing per­son — very sexy — and I can’t stop think­ing about her. The woman I loved died two weeks be­fore I took this job, and I’m still not ready to date again. Oh, my boss is mar­ried, so there’s no way I can hook up with her.

How can I stop hav­ing feel­ings for my boss? Should I just quit? I at­tempted to a month ago, but she gave me a raise.

— Crush­ing in Min­nesota DEAR CRUSH­ING: If you are crush­ing on your boss and fan­ta­siz­ing be­cause you think she’s “amaz­ing and sexy,” I beg to dif­fer with you. You are ready to date.

You say last month you were given a raise when you men­tioned quit­ting. It ap­pears you are a val­ued em­ployee at that com­pany. Be­fore you jeop­ar­dize a job you love and for which you are be­ing in­creas­ingly well-com­pen­sated, I urge you to dip your foot into the dat­ing pool of el­i­gi­ble women. Now!

DEAR ABBY: A friend of more than 70 years passed away out of state. When I emailed a net­work of ac­quain­tances and asked about the cause of death, I got a nasty re­sponse from one of them say­ing my ques­tion was rude and in poor taste. Is such a ques­tion about a friend you haven’t seen in many years re­ally out of line?

— Ex-Ken­tuck­ian DEAR EX-KEN­TUCK­IAN: Peo­ple are nat­u­rally cu­ri­ous, and no, the ques­tion isn’t rude. Of­ten peo­ple are aware that the de­ceased has been ail­ing and don’t mind shar­ing the in­for­ma­tion. What WOULD be in poor taste would be to ask mem­bers of the im­me­di­ate fam­ily (his wi­dow or chil­dren, for ex­am­ple) what killed their loved one, be­cause dis­cussing it in de­tail could be painful.

***

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and get­ting along with peers and par­ents is in “What Ev­ery Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

To re­ceive a col­lec­tion of Abby’s most mem­o­rable — and most fre­quently re­quested — po­ems and es­says, send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keep­ers Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

Abby shares more than 100 of her fa­vorite recipes in two book­lets: “Abby’s Fa­vorite Recipes” and “More Fa­vorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cook­book­let Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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