The Maui News - - TIME OUT -

DEAR ABBY: I am a les­bian. My girl­friend and I have been dat­ing for six months. We have an awe­some re­la­tion­ship and are very happy and open with each other.

I know she has dated guys in the past — so have I — so I’m not worried about that non­sense at all. But I re­cently found some­thing of hers that sur­prised me. It was a con­tainer of preg­nancy tests, and one was miss­ing with a Plan B pill along­side of it. I am not mad about it be­cause I know stuff hap­pens, but I would rather that it not hap­pen in our apart­ment.

I’m tempted to bring it up, but I would hon­estly rather not dis­cuss it at all. I just don’t want any­thing hap­pen­ing in the apart­ment. Would it be weird if I just threw the stuff out with­out telling her, or should I say some­thing?

What if she wants to keep it? I don’t think that would be the case, but it would start a fight be­cause, as a fe­male cou­ple, we ob­vi­ously don’t need a preg­nancy test. I know I am over­think­ing this, and I could use some ad­vice on how to han­dle this un­com­fort­able situation.

— Sur­prised about it DEAR SUR­PRISED: I’m glad you asked. Do not “qui­etly” throw out those preg­nancy tests or the med­i­ca­tion. I don’t know what kind of ar­range­ment you have with your livein girl­friend, but if fidelity was part of the agree­ment, you should ab­so­lutely talk with her about what you found. It does not have to de­gen­er­ate into a fight, but it’s im­por­tant that you know why she feels the need to be in an in­ti­mate re­la­tion­ship, re­gard­less of gen­der, with some­one else.

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band and I have a won­der­ful life and much to be thank­ful for, but we have no chil­dren and are usu­ally alone on Thanks­giv­ing and Christ­mas. Ev­ery­one makes such a fuss about shar­ing these hol­i­days with loved ones, but I be­come de­pressed dur­ing this sea­son.

I do vol­un­teer work on these hol­i­days, but still feel sad and like ev­ery­one else in the coun­try is hav­ing a bet­ter time than I am. Any sug­ges­tions?

— Not so jolly in Ari­zona DEAR NOT SO JOLLY: You must be a new reader of my col­umn or you would know that ev­ery year around hol­i­day time I re­ceive let­ters from peo­ple like you, ex­press­ing that rather than feel­ing joy­ful and elated, they feel de­pressed and de­prived. Some of it may be the re­sult of the in­ces­sant mar­ket­ing of these hol­i­days, which gives the im­pres­sion that “ev­ery­one” is hav­ing a grand old time sip­ping cider, stuff­ing them­selves with tur­key and car­ol­ing un­der the win­dows of their neigh­bors.

An an­ti­dote for your hol­i­day blues might be to do more than vol­un­teer. Why don’t you and your hus­band plan to do some­thing spe­cial to treat your­selves, rather than stay home feel­ing like ev­ery­one else is en­joy­ing them­selves? Choose a dif­fer­ent des­ti­na­tion each year to visit and learn about.

Or in­vite some friends or ac­quain­tances to join you at home. There’s a say­ing that mis­ery loves com­pany, and in your case, com­pany might be the so­lu­tion to the prob­lem.


Good ad­vice for ev­ery­one — teens to se­niors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To or­der, send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

For an ex­cel­lent guide to be­com­ing a bet­ter con­ver­sa­tion­al­ist and a more so­cia­ble per­son, or­der “How to Be Pop­u­lar.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Pop­u­lar­ity Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Copy­right 2017

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