Husband is a Facebook troll
DEARAMY » I have been active on Facebook for several years.
I generally use FB to keep in touch with friends I don’t get to see often. I don’t get too personal.
My husband has recently become much more active on Facebook. After leaving a corporate job last year and going into business for himself, I think he is feeling free to express his opinions and “be himself.”
This has included trolling friends’ political posts and calling strangers out — and not always in a nice way
hile I agree with most of his political views, I think he comes off as a total jerk.
He has also made some raunchy and inappropriate comments. I have called him out online and in person (“dude, everybody is reading this stuff!”), but he insists that he doesn’t care. He says, “It was a joke. It’s just Facebook,” but it all makes me really uncomfortable.
I don’t want him to stop being himself; I just wish he would tone it down and consider how public his comments are.
I know that “unfriending” him will only stir the pot, and not fix anything.
I’ve always appreciated his outspoken manner, until now. How do I make him understand how this affects me? — UpsetWife
DEARUPSET » Your husband either doesn’t realize or doesn’t care that his behavior on Facebook can damage his relationships and his reputation. Saying, “It’s only Facebook” is discounting the megaphone’s role in a person’s offensive broadcasts. It is extremely naive not to realize the power of this public bulletin board, where posts, comments, photos and memes can follow you around forever.
If your husband’s business relies on keeping clients happy, or getting new business, his rudeness on FB will affect his bottom line.
Perhaps he was repressing this before, but now he is choosing to show you — and the rest of the world — who he is.
If I were you, I would definitely “unfriend” or hide his posts on FB. Then he would be faced with the public consequences of his behavior, and you would be spared the temptation to correct him.
If your husband wants to be married to someone who respects him, he should clean up his act.
DEARAMY » I’m sorry you are getting so much backlash about your ridiculous stance about “cultural appropriation” on Halloween, but it’s time for reason and logic to make a comeback.
I’m notMexican, but if I want to wear a mariachi costume to work on Halloween, then I should! — Disturbed
DEARDISTURBED » Um no, you shouldn’t. One thing I’ve learned is that there are a lot of overgrown children out there who want to take this kids’ holiday to the office.