Teen doesn’t want to stum­ble in ap­proach to long­time crush

The Progress-Index Weekend - - AMUSEMENTS - JEANNE PHILLIPS

DEAR ABBY: I un­der­stand that a 15-year-old guy writ­ing for re­la­tion­ship advice is shame­ful and that I’m prob­a­bly bet­ter off not wor­ry­ing about re­la­tion­ships in the first place, but I’m still gonna try.

I’m in high school, and I’m search­ing for a re­la­tion­ship with a cer­tain girl. I’ve known her for eight years, and I al­ways had a lit­tle-kid crush on her, but it’s evolved over time and we’ve got­ten closer. We used to talk a lot. She was in a re­la­tion­ship then. Even though we had feel­ings for each other, she stayed loyal to him.

Well, a cou­ple months ago they broke up. As far as I know, she’s sin­gle, but we don’t re­ally talk much any­more. A cou­ple times I’ve started con­ver­sa­tions with her, but they are usu­ally short-lived.

She knows I have feel­ings for her, but noth­ing has hap­pened. She’s the one I want and now’s my op­por­tu­nity, but I don’t want to ruin the small chance I have. I’m afraid she won’t be sin­gle for long. — WANTS TO TRY IN OHIO

DEAR WANTS TO TRY: It is not “shame­ful” to ask for advice. Call her and ask how her sum­mer has been. If you did any­thing in­ter­est­ing, tell her about it. Then ask her if she’s see­ing any­body spe­cial. If she says no, ask if she’d like to go to a movie, a sport­ing event or on a hike with you — de­pend­ing upon her in­ter­ests. I can’t guar­an­tee it will get you the re­sponse you’re hop­ing for, but at least you will know where you — and she — stand.

DEAR ABBY: My daugh­ter will turn 6 soon, and she is a lovely, won­der­ful child. The only thing is, my par­ents and I have spoiled her a tad.

Hol­i­days have al­ways been cel­e­brated with lots of gifts. I’m start­ing to worry that per­haps she’s be­com­ing too ma­te­ri­al­is­tic. What’s the proper eti­quette for re­quest­ing no gifts on her birth­day in­vi­ta­tions? And how do I re­spond if they ask why? — SPOILED IN WASH­ING­TON DEAR SPOILED: I don’t think it’s nec­es­sary to state on the in­vi­ta­tion “no gifts.” There are ways to teach chil­dren that there are other, less­for­tu­nate chil­dren in this world.

One way would be to vol­un­teer at an or­ga­ni­za­tion that serves the un­der­priv­i­leged so your daugh­ter can see for her­self how lucky she is. An­other would be to do as some other par­ents do: Men­tion on the birth­day in­vi­ta­tion that any gifts will be do­nated to a cause you and your daugh­ter agree upon. And if you are asked why, be hon­est and up­front about it.

DEAR ABBY: I feel un­com­fort­able when peo­ple end con­ver­sa­tions with “I love you.” It creeps me out when a man does it. I al­ways thought those words were re­served for some­one you are in­ti­mate with, such as a spouse or pos­si­bly one’s chil­dren. Am I wrong to think “I love you” has be­come mean­ing­less from overuse? Or am I just a weird guy? — UN­COM­FORT­ABLE IN TEXAS DEAR UN­COM­FORT­ABLE: It’s not un­com­mon for good friends of both sexes to say “Love you” or “I love you” to each other as well as to ex­tended rel­a­tives. In my opin­ion, it’s healthy for peo­ple to ex­press their feel­ings, be­cause there’s never too much love. Our world could use more ex­pres­sions of it, not fewer. Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

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