Pres­sure from boyfriend spurs teen to ques­tion re­la­tion­ship

The Progress-Index - - AMUSEMENTS - JEANNE PHILLIPS —Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-yearold girl in a some­what happy re­la­tion­ship. When I first started dat­ing my boyfriend, he was all about it, as was I. But now it seems like he’s only in­ter­ested in sex. He’s al­ways ask­ing me to send him videos and pic­tures of my­self nude, and I just keep telling him I’m not ready for any­thing like that. I also don’t think he is un­der­stand­ing my com­fort zone about the topic of us hav­ing sex.

I have told my friends. They say I’m in an un­healthy re­la­tion­ship be­cause he might pres­sure me into some­thing I don’t want to do. So now, I’m de­bat­ing whether or not to break up with him. Do you think I should stay with him or break up with him? — TEEN IN ED­MON­TON, CANADA DEAR TEEN: Your friends are right. This ro­mance doesn’t ap­pear to be headed any­where healthy.

Naked pic­tures are con­sid­ered porno­graphic and could get you and that young man in se­ri­ous trou­ble. Surely you are aware that once some­thing gets on the in­ter­net, it’s in the pub­lic do­main for­ever. Once you have sent your boyfriend the pic­tures, they could wind up passed around and viewed by ev­ery­one at your school.

Your re­solve not to have sex may be rock solid, but even gran­ite can even­tu­ally be eroded by a con­stant drip of wa­ter. Don’t think for one moment he doesn’t un­der­stand how you feel about not hav­ing sex with him. If he cared about your com­fort zone, he would stop bring­ing the sub­ject up and try­ing to wear you down. Be­cause he per­sists, you should break up with him. DEAR ABBY: I have been di­vorced for eight years and have a won­der­ful, kind­hearted 13-year-old son. My ex-hus­band and I barely com­mu­ni­cate be­cause he was very hurt­ful and con­trol­ling. He was sup­posed to pay some form of child sup­port, but has never given me a dime. He re­fuses be­cause of my in­come, and he hides his money in his busi­ness.

I have come to ac­cept his self­ish­ness, but a month ago he “bor­rowed” $130 from my son’s piggy bank — hard-earned money his rel­a­tives gave him for do­ing chores, get­ting good grades and birth­day gifts. My son has asked his fa­ther to re­turn the money, but it has been more than a month and his dad keeps mak­ing ex­cuses.

My son is dev­as­tated that his dad took his money. It didn’t sur­prise me be­cause my ex al­ways felt en­ti­tled to other peo­ple’s things. What ad­vice can I give my son on how to get his money back, or is it gone for­ever? — PIGGY BANK ROB­BERY DEAR ROB­BERY: That your ex would steal money from his son and stonewall about re­turn­ing it is shame­ful. Tell your son you are sorry his fa­ther let him down, and that the money likely won’t be re­turned.

Then ad­vise him that be­cause the piggy bank wasn’t se­cure, it’s time the two of you opened a bank ac­count for him and that the sig­na­to­ries will be you and him. This will pre­vent a re­peat of what hap­pened. If it’s an in­ter­est-bear­ing ac­count, it will earn money while it’s there in­stead of sit­ting idle with “Miss Piggy.”

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