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The Record (Troy, NY) - - FRONT PAGE - Dana Mil­bank Fol­low Dana Mil­bank on Twit­ter, @Mil­bank.

Find out what the hot takes of the day are on the na­tion’s headlines.

”If he did that, I guess we’ll have to com­pare IQ tests. And I can tell you who is go­ing to win.” -- Pres­i­dent Trump, in Forbes magazine, on the widely con­firmed re­port that Sec­re­tary of State Rex Tiller­son called the pres­i­dent a “moron.” The set­ting: The Oval Of­fice The date: Later this week CIA of­fi­cer: Mr. Pres­i­dent, I’m here from the Cen­tral In­tel­li­gence Agency.

Trump: Mike Pence is down the hall. I don’t like in­tel­li­gence brief­ings.

CIA of­fi­cer: No, sir, this isn’t an in­tel­li­gence brief­ing. I’m here to ad­min­is­ter an in­tel­li­gence test.

Trump: Don’t waste your time. I get an A-plus grade on all tests, and I will on this test, too, un­less it’s rigged.

CIA of­fi­cer: Well, sir, I don’t want to make you ner­vous, but Sec­re­tary Tiller­son was found to have an ex­tremely high IQ when we tested him.

Trump: Tiller­son in­tel­li­gent? You are the same peo­ple that said Sad­dam Hus­sein had weapons of mass de­struc­tion.

CIA of­fi­cer: Very funny, sir. First, I’m go­ing to test your pat­tern recog­ni­tion. I will show you five shapes and you tell me which one doesn’t be­long. Trump: Bob Corker.

CIA of­fi­cer: But sir, I haven’t shown you the shapes yet.

Trump: I don’t care. Corker doesn’t be­long. Every­body knows it’s true, ex­cept the fake-news me­dia.

CIA of­fi­cer: [Ex­hales.] Let’s try this a dif­fer­ent way. I will show you four sets of four num­bers, and you will tell me which is the

odd one out. Trump: Tom Price. CIA of­fi­cer: But sir ... Trump: Good guy. But very odd. He’s out. [Trump clicks re­mote, Fox News plays on screen.]

CIA of­fi­cer: [Taps foot.] Let’s try com­plet­ing ver­bal analo­gies. Iso­bar is to pres­sure as ...

Trump: Hur­ri­cane.

CIA of­fi­cer : That’s not one of the ...

Trump: We did a great job. And we weren’t treated fairly by the me­dia. I some­times ask my­self, how did I ever get here with the hor­ri­ble un­fair pub­lic­ity? There was love in Puerto Rico for the fact that I went there.

CIA of­fi­cer: [Per­spir­ing.] Maybe we should try the math por­tion of the test. If a rocket is trav­el­ing to the east at five miles per sec­ond, and a sec­ond rocket ...

Trump: It won’t hap­pen. I will rain fire and fury on Rocket Man the likes of which the world has never seen.

CIA of­fi­cer: Let’s put this in terms you’re more fa­mil­iar with. If 500 peo­ple can build a build­ing in 160 days, how long will it take 200 peo­ple to build the same build­ing?

Trump: I can do it in onethird of the time for half the bud­get and it will be the most beau­ti­ful build­ing you ever saw.

CIA of­fi­cer: [Checks watch.] There are four seats to­gether at a football game. John sits next to Joe but not next to Bob. If Bob doesn’t sit next to Mike, who is sit­ting next to Mike?

Trump: No­body, be­cause I told him to leave af­ter the na­tional an­them.

CIA of­fi­cer: A man has 63 socks in his drawer. How many ...

Trump: I have more. I have the best socks. [Trump picks up phone and be­gins scan­ning Bre­it­]

CIA of­fi­cer: [Rolls eyes.] Mr. Pres­i­dent, please look at this di­a­gram. If in each turn the red di­a­mond moves two places coun­ter­clock­wise and the black spade moves three places clock­wise, af­ter how many turns will both shapes be to­gether?

Trump: [Stares dum­founded at di­a­gram.]

CIA of­fi­cer: Maybe a let­ter puz­zle would be eas­ier? In this draw­ing, Mr. Pres­i­dent, which let­ter is di­rectly above the let­ter that is three letters to the right of the let­ter that is di­rectly un­der­neath the let­ter M?

Trump: [Presses but­ton on desk.] Ivanka, can you come in here? Right now?

CIA of­fi­cer: [Pulling out clumps of his hair.] Mov­ing on to ana­grams. The letters found in the words “tow­er­ing stud” can be re­ar­ranged into what com­mon phrase found on U.S. cur­rency? Trump: Pres­i­dent Trump? CIA of­fi­cer: Ac­tu­ally, we were look­ing for “In God We Trust.” I think you’ll like this next one, though. Steve usu­ally beats Ge­orge at golf but loses to Don­ald. Tom wins most of the time against Ge­orge, and some­times against Steve, but can­not beat Don­ald. Who is the worst player?

Trump: Hil­lary? No, wait! Jeff Ses­sions? No! Jemele Hill? No! Mitch McCon­nell? No, wait!

CIA of­fi­cer: Thank you, Mr. Pres­i­dent. We’ll give the re­sults to Vice Pres­i­dent Pence at to­mor­row’s in­tel­li­gence brief­ing.

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